Help Me Live - Part 2

On 23rd April, 2010, I listed the 20 things people with cancer want you to know, written by Lori Hope and received some positive feedback from the readers. Actually, towards the end of the book, there listed another 21 MORE things people with cancer want you to know. Just to complete the whole picture, may be it's a good idea to list them out as well.

1) "Treat me with kid gloves, but don't let me know it."


2) "I need to be touched." (Ask permission first, of course.)


3) "I want to be indulged."

4) "I like it when you express confidence in my ability to make the right decision."


5) "I want you to help me believe in miracles."


6) "When you say you're going to do something for me, follow through quickly."


7) "Being sick costs a lot; offer to treat me, and maybe even insist."


8) "I want you to be honest with me."


9) "I don't always like to be asked about my cancer."


10) "Don't tell me I'll be fine."


11) "I don't want to be blamed for having cancer."


12) "Often I want and need quiet."


13) "I am unique, unlike anyone else with cancer."


14) "I don't like to hear how awful I look."


15) "I don't like to be labeled."


16) "I will talk about my cancer if I feel the need to."


17) "I don't want to feel tainted or contagious."


18) "I need to have privacy."


19) "It's hard for me to hear about your fears."


20) "I need you to believe that I will live through this."


21) "I need you to acknowledge my feelings."

Like last time in the (first) 20 things listed, I may not agree with all the points. In today's 21 things, I even find some of them rather normal even for people without cancer as it's simple social respect. Some of the points are rather controversial and I may even find although people with cancer should be taken good care of, they should still be regarded as an individual member of the society and should NOT have privileges too much above other non-cancer members of the society, keep in mind that there can still be many other life challenges that one can face in their daily life.

The key, as a person with cancer, is to take good care of ourselves and to live everyday the best we can. We can certainly try to communicate (or even educate) our caretakers, family and friends in how to take good care of us, but same time, we ourselves are playing the biggest part in this process. We need to always take the first step, i.e. to take good care of ourselves! 

Different Path to The Same Destiny?

I am a big fan of National Geographic (both the magazine and the TV channel). As soon as the May 2010 issue arrives this afternoon, I read it almost like cover-to-cover, as at the bottom cover is the advertisement showing the sexy iPad without a word on it! Yeah! This product may need no word to promote it. How cool!

Inside this issue, there are quite a few interesting story, in page 74, titled "The Secrets to Sleep" by D. T. Max, subtitled "From birth, we spend a third of our lives asleep, After decades of research, we're still not sure why." Life is a misery, so as (some parts of) the human body are a miseries! Fatal Familial Insomnia (FFI) is a genetic disease. As it's name suggests, the main symptom of FFI is the inability to sleep. "First the ability to nap disappears, then the ability to get a full night's sleep, until the patient cannot sleep at all. The syndrome usually strikes when the sufferer is in his or her 50s, ordinarily lasts about a year, and, as the name indicates, always ends in death." Although "FFI is exceedingly rare, known in only 40 families worldwide", I personally find this scary, imagine one cannot sleep for one year!

Since the day I am diagnosed with cancer, I received various emails and information regarding the causes of different type of cancers. No matter how exhaustive is the information, there are still no logical answer to my "sudden sickness", and this initiates a lot of my family and friends to ask the big question "why?" or "why me?" and it is obvious that I cannot offer them with any ... well ... sensible/logical answer. What's more important is that "I did not ask this question myself", not then and not now. I usually would add a comment that "if you are around long enough, you should be aware that there are plenty of more questions in life that we are unable to find the answer to the "why?" and "why me?" questions. I hope you can pause for a few minutes and think this through, and come to the SAME conclusion as me. Then, rather than keep asking "why?" and "why me?", I very much would like you to focus on the "here and now", i.e. just over this question stage and move immediate to what you can do here and now.

Then, once you are able to grab the Here & Now, you may consider to move to the next level of the Life & Death question, and it would not be difficult for you to find out "though we may go through different paths, our destiny is the same!" ... By now, I hope you would sense the internal peace inside you. No matter what questions you asked (and what answers you found or provided with), and it would good if you can hold onto the Here & Now, the internal peace you are able to find is when you can accept no matter which path we walk or choose to walk, the destiny is going to the same. Whether if you have FFI inside your family genetic (which only about 40 families in the whole world) or cancer (which usually one third of the total population will die from this)!

[This photo was taken during a landing into Vancouver Airport by me luckily sitting in a window sit and the the window was without scratches on it. The weather that day was very nice and I was so proud of this photo that I sent it to the National Geographic magazine hoping that it will publish it! ... It didn't happen, and it's okay!]

It's Complicated!

The title of today's posting "It's complicated!" is actually the name of a 2009 movie directed by Nancy Meyers, played by Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. It's about a divorced woman, after a decade, is having "an affair" with her ex-husband. And as the name of the movie suggested, it's complicated!

I am only borrowing the movie name to describe what happened to me today on my treatment.

Today is supposed to be my first day of second chemotherapy cycle. As a routine, I would need to draw blood sample and do the doctor consultation yesterday, in order to check if my body is ready for the treatment. And I did. The trouble is there are certain body conditions changed and I was requested to do more blood tests, a few X-ray, and one more urgent CT-Scan was squeezed in for this morning, hopefully can still catch my originally scheduled chemotherapy (infusion). It's complicated! By the time, all these checks were done, it's already 3:00pm in the afternoon, and due to some "inflammation" in my lung, it's suggested that I shall not proceed with the chemotherapy today and wait for a week, which an anti-inflammation drug is prescribed. Another consultation with my chief oncologist is booked for next Tuesday and hopefully then my body condition will improve and either I am allowed to continue my chemotherapy, or alternatively, we may start another approach of treatment. Kindly take special note that this is neither a bad news nor a good news. It's simply the approach to go forward when the circumstances arise (and allow us to save the debate of all the technical details and different opinions involved here).

Life is not a straight line, as it goes left and right, up and down, and randomly! It is sometime simple and it can also be complicated sometime. There are actually time in yesterday and today that I am unable to understand a few things (both technically and mentally) but the key is to let it (or them) go as we must admit we all have limitations in our part of understanding (and we will never understand). Give ourselves some space to relax, some air to breath, and some time to ventilate. It's complicated but it's okay!

Three Thumbs Up!

It was 12th March, 2010, the second last day of me at the hospital, that this Blogger started. Thank you for all your supports that today, on average, there is about 200 visitors who would drop by this Blogger and this number is growing everyday. As it says in the heading, this Blogger is about death and dying! And by talking about death and dying to provoke us to think how to live better today ... this moment! Thank you for those who continuously encourage me to write everyday and thank you for those who have reached out for this Blogger and draw so many readers to this Blogger. These readers I don't know personally, which I treasured tremendously. 

Yesterday (26th April, 2010) morning, through the kind introduction of Mr Tung Chan, CEO of S.U.C.C.E.S.S., Ms Kristen Thompson of Metro News interviewed me in late morning, to talk about this Blogger. I didn't ask Kristen when the article will be published. The least that I would expect is that it is published today, as usually it will take days for this kind of article to be written, edited and waited to be published. It's much a surprise and more a coincident that I am visiting BC Cancer Agency for my oncologist consultation this afternoon before my second cycle of chemotherapy. I need to arrive BCCA an hour earlier than scheduled time in order to draw the blood sample before the consultation. So here I am in the waiting room, saw a (left over) copy of Metro News on one of the chairs. Esther picked up the copy of Metro News and same time asking me, "Do you think the article is published today?" Without thinking, I replied firmly, "I don't think so!" ... Esther then opened the Metro News, right on the center of the third page, (here I am again proven wrong right on the face), the article is published. You would need to see how happy Esther is, again once to prove me wrong! My message to you guys are "Never be too sure about every thing, include things that you are very sure about!" ... Life likes to make jokes on people who are always too sure about everything. Always keep an open-mind!

The link to the article in Metro News as below:
http://www.metronews.ca/vancouver/local/article/512682--terminally-ill-man-finds-refuge-online
You may either cut-and-paste the link and read it, alternatively, you can search for the article in metronews.ca website.

The idea of the above photo is by Olivia and it is also taken by her. This time there are three thumbs up. The first thumb was for you guys for all your support. The second thumb was meant for me. Now the third thumb is for Mr Tung Chan, Ms Kristen Thompson, and all others who willingly to promote and make this Blogger famous. Thank you! Let's keep up this effort and let's spread the message so more community members can be benefited this Blogger.

No worries! You Will be Remembered!

Not sure whose idea was this, these days when you go around in parks and public areas, you would see quite a few of these metal plates, in remembering someone. It is meant for usually donation of a certain kind and I often find them interesting to read (and even take photographs and keep record). Like the one above, Jacquie, at the age of 19, was accidently killed in the canyon below as she lay sunbathing on Friday afternoon of 20th August , 1982. She is remembered with love by her family and friends. If that accident did not take place that afternoon, she would be 46 years old now and ... ...

There are many twists in life that would provoke you to think "what if?" There are so many times in the past that we asked ourselves "what if ... this didn't happen? Or what if that happened?" No doubt, as I am also human beings, and we openly admit that we should not do things that we regret in life, but yet, we still ask this "what if" question from time to time, clearly knowing that the "what if" will not change the past, and possibly it may provide some insight to the future if we face the same scenario, but then circumstances will still be different, and result can be very different.

You may call this "the tension" between our two minds. On one side, we are rational and know exactly what we need and do precisely what's requested to do; on the other side, we think we are rational, we think we know what we need (but actually we know what we want, not need) and did not really act on what's requested/needed to do (and therefore we remain in the "dreaming" stage as we are uncomfortable to come out of our "comfort zone"). This tension between the two minds can be very disturbing, especially when you are in my situation, immobility with a few pain, ranging from general pain to unexpected acute pain, as the immobility gives you a lot of time to lay down (not sunbathing though), look around and enter deep thinking mode. While the different levels of pain will provoke your body to react to them and your thinking can go deeper than you usually are! Keep in mind that some of the "thinking" can be very messy and not well constructed. They can be just bits and pieces and the thinking is without framework, nor conclusive at the end. What's more scary is that if you don't control or manage your thinking, or the tension between the two minds, well enough, they can go out of track and cause a lot of damaging to your established thinking mode. If you are under such circumstances, you (your mind) would then need to take a good rest and stop thinking for a moment (e.g. reading a good book, talking to someone, watching a movie, or praying and meditation, etc.).

Or there is a short-cut, like in my case, I simply pray to God and leave everything to HIM to define. Call me naive, childish, blind religious, or whatever you like. Just like the case of Jacquie, "No worries! As you will be remembered!"

Starry, Starry Night! Remembering Vincent Van Gogh.

This is a song by Don McLean named either "Vincent" or "Starry, Starry Night!" It is one of the oldies that I like while Vincent Van Gogh is one of the artist that I liked most. His life experience is a novel itself, and this song captured the essence. Enjoy reading on the lyrics!

Starry
starry night
paint your palette blue and grey

look out on a summer's day
with eyes that know the
darkness in my soul.
Shadows on the hills
sketch the trees and the daffodils

catch the breeze and the winter chills

in colors on the snowy linen land.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they did not know how

perhaps they'll listen now.

Starry
starry night
flaming flowers that brightly blaze

swirling clouds in violet haze reflect in
Vincent's eyes of China blue.
Colors changing hue
morning fields of amber grain

weathered faces lined in pain
are soothed beneath the artist's
loving hand.
And now I understand what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity
how you tried to set them free.
perhaps they'll listen now.

For they could not love you
but still your love was true

and when no hope was left in sight on that starry
starry night.
You took your life
as lovers often do;
But I could have told you
Vincent
this world was never
meant for one
as beautiful as you.

Starry
starry night
portraits hung in empty halls

frameless heads on nameless walls
with eyes
that watch the world and can't forget.
Like the stranger that you've met

the ragged men in ragged clothes

the silver thorn of bloody rose
lie crushed and broken
on the virgin snow.
And now I think I know what you tried to say to me

how you suffered for your sanity

how you tried to set them free.
They would not listen
they're not
listening still
perhaps they never will. 

 
[This photo was taken outside of British Art Museum in London. They were having a show of Van Gogh's paintings there and they made numerous big posters along both sides of the streets nearby. I took my camera, snapped and make it my own collection. Hahahah!]

Ah King! NEVER never NEVER never NEVER never NEVER Give Up!

Dear Ah King,

Thank you for your detailed comment in yesterday's posting. [For those that have not read it yet, I suggest you to read Miranda's (Ah King's) posting of comment yesterday, of which I am dedicating today's posting to.]

Life indeed is not easy and it can get very challenging, like what happened to you in the past 11 years. Your brother's suffering of cancer, your wish of having a baby was not granted, you lost your job and was unemployed for 3 years, etc. Then, on the bright side, you experienced the support, love and understanding from your husband and your parents, and your friend helped and get you a job, though demanding yet manageable.

What amazed me, and I am sure also amazed a few other readers of this Blogger, is your ability to stay strong. Your comments are filled with positive words, the love of God, and encouragement! Like you said:

Life is not easy but I will not give up.  
I believe that I will be still strong and stand up. 
No word can be expressed our pain and our love that I experienced. 
I have done my best. I have worked really hard to pick up and stand up again.
Help and surprises came to me unexpected sometimes or it may be planned by God. 
There is no guarantee for the future. But I believe that I will be still OK tomorrow as I am still tough enough to face the reality. Hope for the best. I always pray to God for everything.
Fortunately, I am not regreted and I still overcome the pain of these real bad experience.
However, I believe there will have hopes in the future and situation will be improved as I believe.
Even life is not easy to me, I believe that I have been trained by my past experience to face the reality. I will not give up ever and forever. 
I am the best one I believe that God created me and my life meaningfully. 
I will take good care of myself as well as my parent, husband and my good friends.
Dear my friend, don't give up.
I don't know what will happen tomorrow but I value the present. 
I can only do my best/enjoy my life every minutes as I cannot change/control the situations that the reality is uncertain.

Your comments remind me one of the magnetic sticker on Joey's refrigerator, and it says\;
NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER NEVER GIVE UP!

Yes, crying, or any means of non-violent emotion expression is okay (including writing a Blogger)! By you sharing your emotion and by others reading your emotion, actually itself is a healing process. I would also like you to take note that in the list of followers (and readers) of this Blogger, there are quite a few cancer survivors. One of them discovered the cancer during her delivery of her baby daughter. Another one went through 39 radiotherapy treatments in additional to chemotherapy with very significant side effects. Actually her first oncologist suggested her NOT to take any treatment as the cancer spread so widely but she did not give up. Like me, another one suffered from lung cancer, stage 4, tumors spread and currently under treatment of fourth remission (recurrence) within five years, and he is still fighting. Etc.

Like it or not, we have our different challenges in life. Important is we stay strong and positive when we are challenged and we live and enjoy everyday of our life!

Yours, Matthew

   
[This photo was taken one early morning when I was returning to work. I am always an early bird! This snail was only about 1cm big and was crossing the front door of the factory. I almost stepped on it and smashed it. I then watched it "walking and walking" and it took almost 10 minutes for it to "walk" about a few inches. I took a photo and gave up watching it's "walking". Yeah! Never Give Up!]

Help Me Live!

It's one of the books that I got from the library, titled Help Me Live, sub-titled "20 things people with cancer want you to know", written by Lori Hope, a journalist, a documentary producer and a cancer survivor herself.

You don't really need to read every words cover-to-cover to appreciate this book. Rather allow me to type for you the 20 things that people with cancer want you to know. Personally, I find it quite interesting though I do not agree with them all.

The 20 Things People with Cancer want YOU to know:

1) "It's okay to say or do the 'wrong' thing."

2) "I need to know you're here for me (and if you aren't, why not)."

3) "I like to hear success stories, not horror stories."

4) ""I am terrified."

5) "I need you to listent o me and let me cry."

6) "Asking my permission can spare me pain."

7) "I need to forget - and laugh."

8) "I need to feel hope."

9) "Telling me to think positively can make me feel worse."

10) "I want you to trust my judgment and my treatment decisions."

11) "I want compassion, not pity; comfort, not advice."

12) "I am more than my cancer; treat me kindly, not differently."

13) "I want you to help without my asking you to."

14) ""I like to be held in your thoughts or prayers."

15) "My moods change day to day; plesae forgive me if I snap at you."

16) "Hearing platitudes or what's good about cancer can trivialize my feelings."

17) "I don't know why I got cancer, and I don't want to hear your theory."

18) "I need you to understand if I don't return your call or want to see you."

19) "I want my caregiver to take good care of herself or himself."

20) "I don't know if I'm cured, and bringing up my health can bring me down."

A Strong Woman ... With Strong Feeling!

Irene is my elder sister, actually she is the eldest among the four of us. Joey comes second. Per the Chinese culture, being the eldest kid of the family, she is also the strongest among us. In our family, there is a famous story about Irene, at the age of six, shouldering Joey (age about 1) in her back, she fought with the other street kids who bullied her and asked her for "protection payment". She won the fight with one hand (apparently). No one can really confirm the truth of this story but this kind of family story always bring us a lot of laughters.

Irene has been living in England (near London) since 1982. Her English is very English and typically people (in Vancouver) can tell instantly where she comes from. It's possibly part of the Chan's family gene, she is clever and hard working. Keep in mind that education was a luxury during the 70's in Hong Kong, Irene was demanded to leave formal school and started working (in order to let the boys of the family continue their studies). She started her career as a cashier in a supermarket chain, and through her hard working and quick learning, she was promoted as the Assistant Manager in a few years. Before she left Hong Kong, she was the Retail Manager of a large multinational cosmetic and health food company. An achievement that a lot of people cannot accomplish in their whole life! She is now having her own business, working leisurely and enjoying her life! Like she said: "We need to learn how to enjoy our life!"

Irene arrived in Vancouver in end-March and she is leaving today back to England, if the volcano in Iceland, Eyjafjallajokull (pronounced "ay-yah-FYAH-lah-yer-kuhl") would allow her flight to depart.

Thank you Irene, for taking care of me this month. Thank you Irene, for taking care of me in the past 46 years! I know I would not have thanked you enough no matter how many "thank you" I said. One thing I want you to know, when you farewell me last evening, and when Olivia hug you and you two were both in tears, I was in tears too! I am fully aware that traveling is convenient and not expensive these days. Meantime, each farewell is not easy as it always contain some uncertainty. In the treatment process, you have seen me in days that even "talking" is a stress for me, and you have also seen me in days that I can sit for whole afternoon without rest. The uncertainty is not about when we will meet up again anytime soon. The uncertainty is about whether this farewell is our "last farewell"!

Or may be like what Estherino commented yesterday "Life is not waiting for the storm to pass. It's learning to dance in the rain!"

Let's not wait for the storm to pass and let's learn how to dance in the rain!

A Life ... I Loved!

This posting is in reply to quite a few of your requests, with the above photo which was taken last evening. Yes, it was my birthday and a wonderful time shared with my family. In anti-clockwise, my Mom, then my sister, Irene from Britain, Joey my brother, then Leo my son, Olivia my daughter and Esther my wife.

You may observe that Irene and Joey's face are (rather) red as between them, they consumed a bottle of red wine. Japanese, especially sashimi and sushi, remain our second choice of food, while the first choice is always Chinese (or more precisely Cantonese)!

You are correct that I am not afraid of death and you are also correct that I am staying very strong and positive in my treatment process, and I would try my best to stay in this direction. Meantime, you are also correct that it is those (Loved Ones) who appear in this photo which will make it hard for me to leave and say goodbye to. Bear in mind that I am only human and I do have emotional attachment to people (and things).

As you have noticed, I am trying to make this process as open as possible, so my Loved Ones know well every step that we are walking through together. They also know well my friend, Cancer, is now going to stay with us and until the day we bid our farewell. We are trying to treat him well and they experience all these first hand, be my trip to the emergency, or my vomiting during eating, etc. I don't think anyone of us like this to happen, but we are now quite receptive and used to it's happening. In fact, I must admit, both Leo and Olivia have grown and now they are sensitive in when to offer their assistance and whenever needed. In short, they are doing okay!

Thank you for all your courtesy and concerns, my family is doing quite okay. Like they say, it is a situation that we don't like but we accept. Important is to face it together, with love we can overcome any challenges ahead of us!

A Time for Everything! A Happy Birthday!

You don't need to be religious to enjoy reading Bible. It contains a lot of wisdom and there are quite a few chapters which is quoted and re-quoted by many people as they touch a lot of people's heart. Today is my birthday! Those who know me long enough would have heard me preaching a few times that "I don't find birthday that important!" and that "Everyday is a special day for me!" Though I never opposed people celebrating birthdays as it is always good to find excuse to meet up with family and friends, especially with your parents, without them, where are you today? (And smile please!)

To combine the above two, Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 would be a good read:

A Time for Everything
 ¹ There is a time for everything,
       and a season for every activity under heaven  ² a time to be born and a time to die,
       a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
       a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
       a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
       a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
       a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
       a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
       a time for war and a time for peace.

Nowadays, birthday greetings can come in many forms, e.g. emails, e-cards, wall-to-wall posting on Facebook, and of course traditional Birthday Cards. Here below is one of the cards that I received this morning. It says "This card is very, very, very, very, very, very, very SMALL" and you may observe that it is indeed a BIG one!

Thank you for all your birthday cards and best wishes! Especially a few of you whom I have never met (thanks to this Blogger)! You all charged me up and provide me with positive energy. Yes, I shall continue to stay strong, positive and energized as the road ahead is no easier than the days behind.


There is a time for everything
A time to be born and a time to die
A time to tear down and a time to build
A time to weep and a time to laugh
A  time to search and a time to give up ...
... A time to tell your Loved Ones how much you love them 
... and to feel how much you are being loved!

This Week is Resting Week!

Chemotherapy treatment usually involve more than one drug. In my case, it's Cisplatin and Gemcitabine. The treatment cycle is 21 days: Day 1, both drugs will be infused. Day 8, only Gemcitabine is infused, then today, Day 15, nothing is infused (and it's also called "resting week") and next week, after another blood check and consultation with the doctors, the Second Cycle (same infusion program) will take place. There will be a total of 4 cycles (each 21 days) of treatments.

Please do take note that treatment is different for individual of different types (and stages) of cancer and the choice of drugs are very much different by different oncologists' preferences, as there are more than 30 commonly used drugs. As a result, the side effects and reaction to treatment are very much different as well. In my case, and you may recall after careful and in-depth discussion with the oncologists on the treatment options (and thanks again to their open-mindedness during the discussion), so far, I am doing fine/good! As I am infused with Cisplatin, I don't have hair loss (and therefore I don't need to shave my hair). The constipation was there for Day 1-3, due to the anti-vomiting drug (Ondansetron), it returned to normal starting Day 4 and since then poo-poo comes everyday. Nausea is there on a daily basis, and it hits you from time to time during the day, but it's already much better than what I expected, and instead of taking western medicine, I used the Chinese salty plum as the anti-nausea agent and it works quite well so far. Fatigue (exhaustion) is the only issue I experienced rather frequent during the day, and I decided to manage it through change of my "resting time", i.e. I will rest (lie down) no matter I am tired or not, and I break down the rest into smaller rests, one in the late morning, one in the late afternoon, and then try to sleep through the night non-stop (try to have no waking up in between).

No one knows your body better than you! You must take good care of yourself and try to listen to your body throughout the whole treatment period. Always keep in mind that each individual is indeed different and they all react differently. The better you can communicate with your own body, the more care you can exercise to your own body, you are in better position to recover! More often than not, Cancer survivors are more health cautious than normal people and in fact, I usually find cancer survivors have a much better and stronger attitude towards life. Meantime, I would certainly suggest everyone of us to take good care of our own body, as you don't need cancer to teach/remind you how to take good care of yourself. Or do you?

Start today, it's never too late! Take good care of yourself!

Let's Try to Make It Happen!

Dear Loved Ones, Family and Friends,

On 5th April, 2010, in posting Two Quick Points, I urged you to "Click" on the AdSense Links (on the right side and the bottom of the posting). Today, I would like to report to you that on average, we have >200 clicks a day. It may not sound a lot, but I am already very happy, considering you have >200 friends come and visit you everyday. Yes, >200 friends on a daily basis, you will be the happiest man on earth!

Then, on 13th April, 2010, just for the day, there were 447 clicks for the day, more than double of the daily average. However, for the AdSense Income, on 14th April, 2010, only 289 clicks were recorded for the day, but it recorded $4.61 AdSense Income for the day.

I must admit that I am still learning how the AdSense work, or how to generate higher traffic to this Blogger, what I would like to urge you, is to encourage you to click into the AdSense LInks. I am sure one day we can materialize the AdSense Income and together we can do something meaningful. So as the first step, may I suggest that each of us, after reading the posting, please also click on the advertisement links on the right side and the bottom of the postings. Please also consider to keep the promotion of this Blogger, so that more people can benefit from it.

Thank you!

Yours, Matthew

Sunbath, I was, on the Spanish Bank

Bliss, comes from north, like comfort hands

Calm and peaceful, I thought, fulfilled my mind

The truth moment arrived, the seagull ate my body

... and left my shell laughing 

... under the sunshine!

I Believe ... I Believe My Daughter Can Fly!

Canucks is playing Stanley Club Play-Off Game 2, leveling 2-2 (now) at 11 minutes 35 seconds into 2nd Period. No one know what will be the result, though a lot of people in Vancouver would like to see them win, not only for this evening, but for the Stanley Club. The most interesting observation, after 6 years now in Vancouver, is people who love and support Canucks would tell you that it's almost like impossible for Canucks to win the Stanley Club and indeed they have never won in the whole history of the Stanley Club, but yet, they would still dream (and believe) Canucks will win the Stanley Club, may be as near as THIS YEAR! ... Yeah! If you believe ...

The song "I Believe" by Nikki Yanofsky is very nice, and I would even use this song to reply to a very good and old friend of mine (Keith) on what he has written in a (public) letter to me. "As long as we believe!" The lyrics as:

There comes a moment when my heart must stand alone
On this lonely path I've chosen
Like a house that's not a home

Sometimes when I feel I've had enough
And I feel like giving up
You willed me to be all I can be
Now nothing can stop me

I believe in the power that comes
From a world brought together as one
I believe together we'll fly
I believe in the power of you and I

This is the moment we have dreamed of all our lives
We'll be the change we wish from others
We'll stand tall for what is right
And in my heart there'll be no doubt
The arms of the world will come reaching out
And embrace me to be all I can be
Now nothing can stop me

I believe in the power that comes
From a world brought together as one
I believe together we'll fly
I believe in the power of you and I
I believe in the power of you and I

I believe, I believe, I believe in..
I believe, I believe in you
I believe, I believe, I believe in..
I believe, I believe in you
I believe, I believe, I believe in you

I believe together we'll fly
I believe in the power of you and I
I believe the time is right now
To stand tall and make the world proud
I believe together we'll fly
I believe in the power

I believe in the power that comes
From a world brought together as one
(Of you and I)

I believe together we'll fly
I believe in the power of you and I
(Power)

I believe the time is right now
(Of you and I)
Stand tall and make the world proud

I believe together we'll fly
(Together we'll fly)
I believe in the power of you and I
I believe in the power of you and I

 

 

I Believe My Daughter Can Fly

Stand Tall and Make the World Proud!

Love of My Mother-In-Law!

My mother-in-law, i.e. Esther's mother, is one of the nicest person I have ever met. She is 78 years old and a person always of a positive attitude, like the one I am showing you here. She has been suffering from asthma for long and starting end last year, she is also struggling on her back pain due to osteoporosis. (For those that are experienced would actually observed from the swollen finger joints, are due to arthritis because of long term consumption of steroid.) Yet, she is of positive attitude and insist in doing her housework and taking care of her son's daily needs.

She is still upset about my situation, since we informed her in early February. Keep in mind that she is also suffering from her own back pain and need to visit her doctors rather frequently, she is more concerned about my situation than her own. Every time, when Esther was talking to her over the phone, she is asking about my situation and how I was responding to various treatment, rather than allowing Esther to talk about her situation.

There was a touching moment, in early March, she was so upset and she asked God to exchange her life for me. In other words, she would like God to cut short her life and put it on me, so that I can live for more years. When Esther told me this, I didn't know how to respond. I am deeply touched by her will to sacrifice ... for me (and for her daughter)! The mother's love is so selfless and so great! 

From Stress to Strength!

Being a cancer patient, there are a number of stress, in additional to your daily and routine ones. Imagine you are already under pressure financially to sustain the minimum living of a family, and you have a demanding job and not so smooth working relationship with other colleagues, and from time to time, you have some arguments with your wife or kids. Life is never perfect, and stress is always there somewhere waiting. Then, one day, unexpectedly, your doctor informed you about the relationship between you and cancer, say Stage 4 and you will have about 6 - 8 months life expectancy. (*It's important that you put YOURSELF into this scenario and try to FEEL the stress at that very moment! Feel it? Feel the stress?)

Since the establishment of this Blogger, positive feedback are received on a daily basis with the number of readership ever increasing. From time to time, I also receive emails from people I have not met. One of them suffering from cancer saying "One can stay as positive as they can, but the reality remains the same!" In other words, no matter how we think, whenever we are returning to the "real world", the stress and the challenges are all there and cannot be resolved even if we keep a positive (or very positive) mindset. What difference does it make (between keeping a positive attitude or not)? It's rather natural that we praise people with positive attitude, while when people express their stress (or negative attitude), they often being "talked out of it" or "suppressed" as in general terms, it is not a right/good thing to do.

My sharing is the following:

True! By merely "thinking positively" cannot solve the problems in the real world. However, by thinking positively provides us with the courage (and wisdom) that may open up more possibility to resolve the problem. The strength of thinking positively is to increase our probability of resolving the problem!

Stress usually is defined as a mental barrier that we created for ourselves. In other words, by RE-defining the mental barrier, the stress may disappear. For example, if an assignment would need to be completed before 5:00pm today, then immediately, the deadline of 5:00pm today becomes the stress. On the other hand, if I RE-define the deadline, say "take it easy, I will try my best to get it done before 5:00pm today", then the stress will be eased. Even better, now with a "targeted time" for completion of the assignment, the stress is now the strength (the target)!

More social supports are always better than being isolated. I personally is a firm believer of teamwork and a team of people is always better than a man acting alone. Therefore, by sharing a positive attitude among teammates and to invite participation of others would usually increase the chance of success. Alternatively, what good does it bring you if you are facing the problem on your own? Do you think being one person, you are really better than a collective of a few? Releasing this stress will immediately turn into a strength, both psychologically and practically. For those that have tried resolving problem this way would surely tell you that although interactions among teammates sometime can be difficult, the process itself can be enjoyable!

Look closer to the picture above, there are a lot of "stress" on the pedals of the flower. The stress is always there. Meantime, if we take a positive attitude and to share our stress among our families and friends, we may still unable to resolve all challenges in "real life", but we at least have increased the probability of success!

One Morning in Merritt!

It was 12th October, 2009 morning at about 10:00am that this picture was taken. It was a photographic trip with the Canadian Martyrs' Church (in Richmond) to Merritt, where we were supposed to do some "Autumn Color" photo-shooting. It ended up we were little too early for the Autumn color while we got a lot of other stuff, e.g. this icy crystal on the surface of a lake. All through the trip, it was very nice to interact with other members who shared the common interests, especially when this is the first time that Michael, Bennett and myself left our families behind for the weekend and being "alone" in the Men's Club doing what we enjoyed.

The icy crystals are of very small size, like a quarter. They formed on the surface of the water while you may observe that some other crystals formed underneath the water surface like white spots. Then, along the edge of the water and the rock, they formed another line of crystals. At a closer distance, you will see they are actually all crystals. At that moment, I was amazed by the nature. I tried to visualize the crystallization process, i.e. how the water was turned into the crystal stars on the surface. It must have been spectacular simply to watch!

Life is about appreciation of details. To observe and enjoy the tiny little things in life. Very often, we were rushing and missed a fair amount of details (of life), or we were simply distracted and did not pay enough attention.

It would be nice if you can start today, to pause for a few minutes (or even a few seconds) to simply appreciate what Mother Nature is offering you ... right now! To appreciate what LIfe is offering you ... right now! ... What are you going to do ... now?

Exercise. Exercise and Rest!

Exercise is important for cancer recovery. Resting does not equal to lying in the bed doing nothing! Simple exercises, such as merely sitting upright, walking around the house, talking and doing the simple houseworks are very appropriate exercises, as long as you don't overly stretch yourself.

Exercise can keep the heart and blood pressure at suitable level. It enhances metabolism of the body, as well, usually bring you positive attitude. I do encourage cancer patients to continue to do (appropriate) exercise and hopefully at a more of less same time.

The picture above featured Terry Fox. He started the Marathon of Hope 30 years ago. Now, by knowing how difficult it is to sustain the pain of cancer inside the bones, the courage and challenges that Terry went through at the time is tremendous! It makes him more admirable!

It'a An Emergency Case!

The very first time in this Blogger, I did not write a posting yesterday! (Did you notice?)

Yesterday was a beautiful day! I was feeling tired (fatigue) possibly due to the side effects of the chemotherapy, otherwise, everything was progressing just as normal and just as fine. After the lunch time, which I had my salad with a new taste of dressing (Range), I went to bed but I was so tired that I almost slept through until 5:00pm when Leo and Irene (my sister) were trying to do the backyard lawn. I woke up by 5:00pm to do my Qi Gong and completed by 6:00pm. Everything upto this point was ... normal!

Then, by 7:00pm, after my daily medication of pain-control, I attended to the dinner table again by 7:15pm when the table is ready. Olivia and Esther are already there when I was approaching. I did not have any recollection of what happened, the next thing that I noticed was ... I was already on the floor (of the dinner table) held tight by Esther while the paramedics surrounded me. The paramedics asked me again and again if I was okay and if I would like to check into the (Richmond) Hospital. (*Apparently, I passed out again!) Then, the next thing I was aware of ... I was inside the ambulance going to the hospital with Esther (and the paramedics) next to me. 

From that point onward, I was fully aware about what was happening. They have performed a lot of checks and tests on me (and I am still having my 24-hours ECG with me now as it will need to run until 11:00pm this evening). Other than some blood indicators did not reach the "appropriate range", every thing tested were okay. I was later released from the observation ward back to my Home Care Unit by 11:15pm (11/April, 2010).

Per original schedule, I attended BC Cancer Agency for my 2nd Chemotherapy injection (of the first cycle) this morning. With short notice, the Oncologists consulted me while we discussed at length about what would have contributed to my "pass-out" last evening! There are a few possible reasons, but nothing very concrete, especially in my case. I have had a lot of "cold sweats" (and body shivering) running out of me, which is not a common side effects. It is also possible that my blood pressure may have run up and down drastically, and caused a major deviation between sleeping and sitting/standing and contributed to the "sudden pass-out" while merely standing for more than 10 seconds can be a stress. There are always a third possibility that I did not do enough daily exercise and allowed my body to simply relax (and rest). As result, when my body was asked to stand (to exercise), it did not react properly and caused it to "pass-out"! Etc. Etc.

I am writing this posting to share with you:
1) It's not guaranteed that if you are okay for the morning, you will be okay for the afternoon. Even if you are okay for the afternoon, you will then be okay for the evening. Every moment is different, and we have to deal with it ... well ... differently!
2) You need to take good care of yourself, every little steps, and you must be very self-aware of what is happening to you, and your body, so that you can take good care of it (and to avoid something really bad happening to you).
3) Don't be too agitated if you need to check-into Emergency. Keep in mind that I am a cancer patient and I obviously would need people to take care of. Checking into the Emergency is nothing to be ashamed of (as long as there is a valid reason for doing so).

I do notice that by doing this posting, you may start to worry about me (or even doubting my "strong mindset" may not bring "strong body")! Meantime, I prefer to be honest and straight-forward with you, so that you are better prepared to "deal with" the situation when circumstances arise (like what happened to me yesterday).

Today everything goes well! But like I said, every moment is different, and we cannot treat it the same!

Today ... We Call It The Present!

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why we call it the present.


By Babatunde Olatunji (1927 - 2003), a  Nigerian drummer, educator and social activist.

Reading and Learning ... is Part of My Life!

I did not remember precisely when I started reading. It probably started when I was at grade 2 or 3. There was a library located next to the playground where I would do some ball games with other kids. Then, after the ball games, wet with sweats, I would then stay under the fan of the library just to dry myself up before going home (I know it may sound strange now, but considering this 40 years ago back in Hong Kong). Then, during the dry up time, I would pick a few books pretending I was reading them (as it's the regulation there inside the library that you were there to do reading), and later on, it's interesting development that I slowly become fond of going to the library to read books rather than going to the playground for the ball games. There were another interesting observation made that when I read the books, I read them one by one by section. What I mean is, I will go for a section, e.g. Second World War, and then I would start reading from the first book on the shelf, then the second, then the third, etc. Yeah, I know it may sound wired (that I did not only choose those that I would enjoy reading), but then this can also be simply "part of me" that I wanted to read everything and that I enjoyed reading everything!

Most of my friends who visited my house would notice I love books. I have thousands of them and they range from antique publications, old books reprints (my favorite), business, management, medical & professional publications, biographies and autobiographies (second favorite), histories, spiritual & philosophical stuffs, collection items (i.e. books that I borrowed and read and I like it so much that I would buy them for my collection), etc. I always like to recommend to people books that I enjoyed reading and I also like to give away books as gifts, or loans (of sometime no return) with the expectation that the guy would read it and then pass on to others. Good books should always be shared!

Being in Vancouver, we have one of the best library system. (*Thanks to this system, the amount of money I spent on books have significantly reduced, despite I still hold on to my Chapters' Club Card.) You can go on to the internet library to browse and search for those books that you may like to read, order it through the internet and to be picked up at a library nearby your home, and upto 25 books at a time! You can loan it for 1 months (30 days), and it costs you nothing ... yes, nothing (except you are late in return or did not pick up what you have booked for)! In the above picture, the middle pile of books are those books that I got from the library. All about cancer, from survival guide to Chicken Soup's Stories, from diet suggestion to life after recovery (see how pro-active I am)! Then, there were a few others, on the left side of the photo, one was sent in by a friend of mine in Hong Kong, second one from my sister (bought in England written by a cancer survivor offering practical tips) and third one is the one I actually read it 10 years ago which then go into my "collection items". It's a book written by a cancer patient at his last three months of life. A very direct, honest and sincere account of the author's last three months' feeling and views on issues!

Nowadays, we receive our information from internet, then TV, newspaper, magazines, and possibly books (though I am not sure how many of you still read books). I don't know where should I insert "hear-says", "gossips", or "repeated forwarded messages through emails" at the above chain of information source. Personally, I find I can ONLY learn by reading books (and the other sources of information are really meant for supplementary, and I must admit internet makes information so assessable which is great!). Books are usually well organized (assuming they are of good quality) and thus easy to be read and understood.

Knowledge is power, and to gain knowledge, we need to read and to be educated! Reading and learning is part of my life ... and I really enjoy reading and continuous learning ... until the last day of my life! Why not?

Knowledge is Power!

Since the day that relatives and friends are aware of my relationship with lung cancer, a lot of information were flogged in. Anything from life styles changes, diets and food choices, treatments and alternative approaches, extra-ordinary skills and people, supernatural powers and senior masters who are still living legendary on this planet Earth, to very expensive/luxurious treatment institutes geographically locating at northern India to Kansas City (USA), in additional to web-links, books, forums and support groups, etc. etc. "Overwhelmed" is the right word to be used here. (*Keep in mind they are all provided with the best intention.) Everyone was eager to help, one way or another. Some were hear says and most of them were "forwarded messages" from the internet. At the beginning, I read every single piece of the information very carefully, as I don't want to miss any chance, not even the slightest chance, of an important information that may help my situation. Meantime, as you can imagine, this can also be a very stressful process to swim through this ocean of information, especially (actually quite a few of them) are controversial, i.e. one say good and one say bad! Then, what do you do? ... Hahahah! You are now back to Square One!

Among other cancer patients, I considered myself very lucky because I worked in the pharmaceutical field my entire professional life (>25 years). I call myself a semi-professional as I am not a stranger to those medical and pharmaceutical terms, actually in certain occasions, I am at an advantage over the clinical staff as they don't have the indepth knowledge of a specific issues, e.g. how long-acting sustained release capsule works, or when will a drug reaches it's maximum blood concentration level, etc. For same background reason, I was able to communicate with the professionals and discuss with them at length my treatment plan, especially the pros and cons, before a final decision is taken. More important, all these knowledge help me to better prepare and appreciate what is going to happen, e.g. drugs' side effects, body reactions, etc. In certain issues, we can actually take pro-active measures to reduce the impact. Knowledge indeed is power! 

It's obvious that I am still unable to control the outcome (though I would argue that I shall be in better position than those that do not have the same knowledge level, at least psychologically)!

Another source of information which I find extremely useful are from other cancer survivors. They are usually practical and almost work instantly. Keep in mind that we may not have the same type of cancer, neither are each human body reacting the same way. From simple suggestion of how to park the car at BC Cancer Agency, to how to make your salad more tasty and with variety, to how to manage vomiting and constipation (and other undesirable side effects), to how to exercise and rest in the day! Most important of all, using their exprience and spirit, they are charging you up with super energy, they are a walking model for you to follow and say "If you think you can, you can ... and this is what we have gone through and ... look at us today!" Simply be with them is already a charging up process, it gives you the power of almost like immediate recovery!

Knowledge is power! Cancer Survivors is super power! I cannot control the outcome, but if I am able to walk through all these and "survive" (and yes I will), I am going to be an active Cancer Survivor and I am going to provide everything I can to make other cancer fellows to live and enjoy everyday of their life!

An Ordinary Day!

This is the view from my Home Care Unit, rain or sunshine, day and night! I somehow find it beautiful as you can see, the first layer is indoor, then the second layer which is right outside of my house and in front of the window, and then the street view and the houses opposite to ours. Then, all these change through day and night, under sunshine, clouds or rain. Not too often, you can see someone walk pass or a car drive through. I can also see who is coming and leaving my house. It's lively and quite peaceful!

The guests of the house, Grace and Eddie left last mid-night. Easter holidays end and the kids return to school (starting Tuesday). Esther needs to work today. This should have left me taking care of myself during most time of the day. However, my sister, Irene, won't let me doing so, she reported to the Home Care Unit at 9:00am sharp and stay until 5:30pm. She made me many fresh juices, the lunch, vacuum cleaned my whole house among other minor tasks. Joined by my mom in lunch time, we then end up sitting around the dining table talking about the family history for a couple of hours, covering from 1944 (the year before Second World War is over and when my father arrived in Hong Kong) all the way to 1970 (the year when I was admitted to my primary school). I won't bother to repeat any of those tales here as I know you may not find them interesting. Though, for Irene and me, it's extremely interesting as some of the details we learn it the first time while some other details, there are variations from what we learnt from our father (who left us 13 years ago)!

It's rather normal that constipation is one of the side effects of chemotherapy (actually more precisely, it's the side effect of an anti-nausea and anti-vomiting drug, Ondansetron, which is intended to manage nausea and vomiting, i.e. the normal side effect of the chemotherapy drug, Cisplatin) and in additional to the pain management drug, morphine, which side effect is also constipation. Following the clear guidelines, I have taken in a lot of fluids during the day. Though I still cannot have my poo-poo in the past 1.5 days. So I need to work hard for this today, starting in the morning, e.g. more exercise (in the bed as well as getting up and walking around the house), some tricks that I learn from my mom (as she also suffered from constipation since her colon surgery 17 years ago), meditation (a state of mind to convince my body to cooperate with me to do poo-poo for me), managed breathing (in deep, out deep, in synchronization of the bowel movement), and from time to time, gentle massage on the abdominal cavity, etc. I do hope you don't need to do all these in your life time, but just in case you do need to do it, the key is to do it with great relaxation, do it like you are handling the easiest task on earth. As long as you have the whole day for it, why rush and why push yourself so hard. I know "enjoy it" will be harsh words to swallow, but how about "take it as it is". Remember, one way or another, you need to deal with it, as constipation gets you no where (except the hospital). You do have a choice! Believe me you do!

One little trick I also learn this time, which so far, it seems working is about vomiting control. I took the official medication Ondansetron for the first 1.5 day (i.e. 3 tables in 36 hours). Then, I decided to stop taking it last evening. From time to time, sense of vomiting will come and I eat some Chinese sour & salty plums. It actually works quite nicely! Not sure if it's related, it may have also help the constipation issue today. The reason I mentioned this, is everyday life can be an adventure, for those who are willing to explore. Of course, the result we may not be able to control, and it can go both ways. But the process itself at least worth our effort of trying!

I like sunshine, I like cloudy sky and I like rain. I like day and I like night. I like every minutes of my life as it's part of me and no one can take it away from me. I like the feeling of happy as well as feeling of ordinary. ... ... I do enjoy adventure of life and the process of doing so! Life without adventures, what else do you plan to enjoy? Yeah, adventures can be challenging, but then it's still a lot of fun in it, especially when you reach the other side of the shore. Even you failed the challenge, you can still say, without regrets, I did tried ... and it was fun!   

Two Men of Same Birthday! And Two Simple Lifes!

In the above photo, by now, I hope you would recognize me and Esther (in the middle), then on Esther's right is Grace, her sister, and on my left, Eddie, i.e. Grace's husband. In English, it's called Brother-In-Law (some corrected me and say it should be Brother-Out-Law in this case), while I prefer the Chinese way of saying it, i.e. we simply call each other's first name, and address each other as Brothers! What you may find it funny (or even amazed) is that Eddie and  I are of the same birthday (20th April). Now you may want to check around your friends and relatives and see if any of the sisters have married to their husbands who share the same birthday! We don't need to explain everything in life, neither are we capable of doing so. Though, we can certainly enjoy the fun of it, the fun of being part of the unexplained phenomenons in life!

Eddie's purpose of being here, like Grace, is to "come and see me". Also, more important, is to accompany Grace to return home (Hong Kong) as she has been here for more than 3 weeks. While Eddie, her dutiful husband, on the first day of the Easter holidays, to squeeze into a long haul flight coming all the way to be here in Vancouver the very first time for a few days, didn't really see much of the city and going to leave this evening! Lady Grace, you know how lucky you are? This also makes me think what's the (real) meaning of life: Eddie's life is all about his family. He works so hard and sacrifices to keep his family members happy!

Like most people at the same age in Hong Kong, Eddie was not given the opportunity to receive advanced education. They need to work extremely hard, and to work from bottom up, and be loyal, dedicated and great integrity to earn his today's senior management position. Of course, it also depends on who you are working for and repeated strikes of luck, careful choices and decisions, you then are able to swim through the ups and downs and survived various challenges and uncertainties in the past 3.5 decades. Then, their biggest achievements are that they raised a couple of kids, and a saving that can keep their retirement self-sustainable, with (social) respect! Eddie spends most of his time working at the office, as well the homework, i.e. the works that he see needed fixes at home. His biggest enjoyment is his walks at the back hill of where he lives and once a week, a dim-sum tea session with Grace and the kids. He has planned for his retirement in about 4 years' time and he seems satisfied with it. Life can be so simple! 

The Chinese philosophy guided that "If you expect little, less you will be dissatisfied! If you expect nothing, then you will never be dissatisfied!" (Save the debates of who is in-charge of life and whether life should be lived pessimistically or optimistically!) I agreed and echoed that there is a lot of merits if we can "Keep Life Simple!" Keeping life simple doesn't equates to a dumb life, as our life can still be filled with joy and fun. However, if we can keep it simple (or at least less complex), our mind is at greater ease and peace! Even when we are among life crisis and challenges, if we can simply take them as our daily life (or part of the process that we have to go through), we seek immediate agreement with the situation and "live with it", we then feel the solidness of ourself's own existence.

Life is full of joy and fun! Life is simple! Life is simpler than you think it is!          

The (Long Awaited) First Chemotherapy Session!

The below picture is taken this morning at BC Cancer Agency (BCCA). This is also the first day treatment of my first chemotherapy session. Since the last radiotherapy session on 23rd March, and then the consultation with the oncologist on 24th March, I was then basically preparing and waiting for today, i.e. the chemotherapy treatment. There was an educational session on 31st March, provided by a registered nurse, to walk me through those important points and what am I going to expect before and during the chemotherapy treatment process. As my case was considered urgent and therefore I was put into "the urgent wait-list" since 24th March, but a few attempts were made and failed, and today I finally "squeezed in", thanks to everyone in BCCA who are willing to work overtime in public holidays like today!

For those that have not attended any chemotherapy session would find this photo useful. One other purpose to show you this photo is to ease your feeling towards chemotherapy. There are really nothing to be scared of. As long as you are willing to understand and appreciate what is going to happen.

There are three major treatment approaches for cancer patients: Surgery, Radiotherapy and Chemotherapy. It is quite common that you will receive chemotherapy as it is a key approach to help control and manage the cancer cell growth, even you have performed surgery or conducted radiotherapy. In short, chemotherapy is a treatment through (chemical and biological) drugs, taken into your body through infusion or orally. Usually, more than 2 drugs will be used, and a treatment cycle goes from 21 - 28 days, and for each patients a 4 - 6 cycles (in total the treatment time will be about 3 - 4 months). What a lot of people do not notice is that you DO NOT need to have the injection everyday. Using me as an example, which Cisplatin and Gemcitabine are used, I only need to go for Day 1 for injection of two drugs, and then again Day 8 for injection for one drug, then rest for 2 weeks, in a treatment cycle time of 21 days. Then, the next cycle starts again. If you notice, basically out of the 21 days cycle, only 2 days (actually a few hours a day) are required for this treatment, and you can do whatever you like in the other 19 days. Consider these your extra holidays!

[*There are quite a few technical information that you may need to digest, especially regarding side effects of drugs and precautions for certain patients, e.g. diabetics, low performance patients, etc. Plenty of information are available and you may find the link from BCCA Chemotherapy Protocols useful. 
http://www.bccancer.bc.ca/HPI/ChemotherapyProtocols/default.htm
Don't over-stress yourself to do your own research, as you will be provided with all these essential information at the appropriate time.]

Let's now have a look at the actual scene, and what you would expect when being treated:

The treatment room locates at the 6th Floor of BCCA. It's a very comfortable and homely facility filled with friendly and professional staff. Then, you will be greeted by your assigned nurse and lead to a treatment room. Inside the room, there are a few chairs like the one I am sitting. (*The little pillow on my neck is my private item due to my not-so-straight spine. Otherwise pillows are available there to make you sit as comfortable!) After another detailed information session by your nurse of what to expect during the first day and during the treatment process (content is very similar to the education session), the treatment, i.e. infusion of drugs, starts punctually at 9:00am. You may see in the above photo a few highlights, the infusion is done by a little instrument automatically, it controls the speed of the intake of the drugs and it provides warning sound to alert if the drugs are run low. To show you how BCCA is taking good care of you, it's the warm blanket wrap around your infusion intake point. You feel almost nothing throughout the whole infusion process. Then, it's recommended that you drink a lot of fluids, to help hydrate your body and also to protect your kidneys! What's important here, especially for people outside of Canada, all these drinks, juices, Canada Dry, are free! (Yeah, for medical coverage, it's better to be a Canadian than an American!) You can drink as many as you like! Hahahah!

Depends on different treatment plans, the total time for the process may varies. In my case, it took about 3 hours to complete for Day 1. Then, it will be faster in Day 8 as only one drug will be infused.

The whole process went so smoothly, especially when you are accompanied by family members. In my case, my elder sister, Irene, flew in from London of United Kingdom, who also took the above photo for me accidentally. (*She said she did not remember when she pressed the shutter!) and then of course my dedicated companion who would not allow me to be apart from her for more than 5 steps, i.e. Esther!

Oh, don't get me wrong. I am not suggesting that you should undermine the impact of chemotherapy, and it's side effects, the risk of infections, and various damages that it may cause to your body, etc. All I am suggesting here is that if you can have a better knowledge and understanding of what you are going to go through, the better equipped you are. Then, the actual experience is not that harsh while professional organization such as BCCA actually have tried very hard, with every little details in mind, to make you/us comfortable. To make the process even enjoyable!

Life-O-Life ... It can't be better ?!