You don't really need to read every words cover-to-cover to appreciate this book. Rather allow me to type for you the 20 things that people with cancer want you to know. Personally, I find it quite interesting though I do not agree with them all.
The 20 Things People with Cancer want YOU to know:
1) "It's okay to say or do the 'wrong' thing."
2) "I need to know you're here for me (and if you aren't, why not)."
3) "I like to hear success stories, not horror stories."
4) ""I am terrified."
5) "I need you to listent o me and let me cry."
6) "Asking my permission can spare me pain."
7) "I need to forget - and laugh."
8) "I need to feel hope."
9) "Telling me to think positively can make me feel worse."
10) "I want you to trust my judgment and my treatment decisions."
11) "I want compassion, not pity; comfort, not advice."
12) "I am more than my cancer; treat me kindly, not differently."
13) "I want you to help without my asking you to."
14) ""I like to be held in your thoughts or prayers."
15) "My moods change day to day; plesae forgive me if I snap at you."
16) "Hearing platitudes or what's good about cancer can trivialize my feelings."
17) "I don't know why I got cancer, and I don't want to hear your theory."
18) "I need you to understand if I don't return your call or want to see you."
19) "I want my caregiver to take good care of herself or himself."
20) "I don't know if I'm cured, and bringing up my health can bring me down."
Dear Matthew,
ReplyDeleteEverytime I browses your messages. I prayed for you and your family even mine. Life influences life. Being positive attitude is good for us. Please pray and talk to God. God listens to you.
Keep on your good writing.
God bless you.
Thanks for your blog.
Best regards,
Ah King
Thank you Ah King! Thank you for your continuous support and encouragement. HE is the greatest!
ReplyDeleteDear Matthew,
ReplyDeleteEveryday I read your message and I gain encouragement, energy and support too.
Life is not easy but I will not give up.
I got so many problems that I have not mentioned before. And I experienced some setbacks in my life and life is not smooth/OK to me these few years. I believe that I will be still strong and stand up.
Eleven years ago, I had taken medical treatments (8 opeartions within 2 years) to want to have my own bady. I had been really crazy for a dream to have a baby after my miscarrage. However, I had spent almost all my savings for no child finally. Now, I still have no child but I will not regret as my husband have supported me well and stand by me well. No word can be expressed our pain and our love that I experienced.
Nine years ago, I have been laid off and I was unemployed for almost 3 years. I was really down that time. I had been really scared as money in all my bank accounts nearly can't pay my mortgage and afford my parent's living with only working a unsteady part-time job.
I have done my best. I have worked really hard to pick up and stand up again. I have got my present relatively permanent job these four yearst job after my friend/ex-colleague's assistance. I claimed this "job" instead of "career" as there is no job security in HK.
However, it was still a miracle that this friend even did not know how bad situation I have suffered financially at that time. Help and surprises came to me unexpected sometimes or it may be planned by God.
Friend in need is friend indeed!
Presently, my job seems not secured and everyday I have been stressful to meet the high demand of sales target/benchmark during the economy downturn. There is no guarantee for the future. But I beleive that I will be still OK tomorrow as I am still tough enough to face the reality. Hope for the best. I always pray to God for everything.
Fortunately, I am not regreted and I still overcome the pain of these real bad experience.
However, I believe there will have hopes in the future and situation will be improved as I believe.
I have tried very hard / brave enough to share my experience to you in this open blog as I am quite a shy woman. I am not smart but I am not that stupid. I expressed my emotion so naturally that everyone will do. I think it is OK to cry if I want to cry. I will not hide my feeling as I did before...... as I know it is good to our health.
Even life is not easy to me, I believe that I have been trained by my past experience to face the reality. I will not give up ever and forever, especially to earn my living and my parent's living. I am the best one I believe that God created me and my life meaningfully. I will take good care of myself as well as my parent, husaband and my good friends.
Dear my friend, don't give up.
I don't know what will happen tomorrow but I value the present. I can only do my best/enjoy my life every minutes as I cannot change/control the situations that the reality is uncertain.
Maybe we are lonely sometimes but we are not alone. God is always with us. God bless us all.
Thanks for your patience and tolerance of reading my stuff and my English standard.
I respect you very much and I am appreciated your writing in this blog very much.
Best regards,
Ah King
Hi Matthew,
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting those 20 quotes. They are an inspiration to me and my family, as my mom is also a sufferer of chronic health problems.
Peter Kwok
Chair, SUCCESS
Hi Peter,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your encouragement. I will also keep your mom in my prayers! With all best wishes!
Yours, Matthew