The Encyclopedia of Stupidity!

A very good friend of mine reminded what I sent him in June 2005, i.e. 5 years ago. It's a direct copy from The Encyclopedia of Stupidity by Matthijs van Boxsel, at page 96, it says the following and don't forget to have a good laugh after you finish reading it. And do come back often and read them again and again ... as it serves as a good reminder for us.

Man hides his mental indolence and corruption behind platitudes:

Stupidity has spread the following infernal phrases among men:

Who’d have thought it …

I would never have thought so …

I didn’t notice …

I didn’t realize …

It will have to do …

It makes no difference …

It leaves me cold …

Tomorrow is another day …

No rush …

All in good time …

I didn’t notice …

I know what I want …

I’m not that stupid …

Stop going on like that …

It won’t kill me …

Laughter is the best policy …

Don’t believe everything you hear …

Whatever the cost …

It isn’t possible …

To each his own …

God will provide …

Patience is its own reward …

I’m not the only one …

Enough is enough …

What business is it of yours? …

In my view …

That’s impossible …

Not another word …

I can do no more …

Time will tell …

The world keeps turning …

You only die once …

What are you thinking of? …

Come what may …

I speak my mind …

We are all in the same boat …

I know whom I’m dealing with …

That’s my business …

Wait and see …

That’s what they say: “And lots of “buts” and “maybes”.

But the favorite refrain of these blockheads is ‘Come what may!”

These foolish phrases render men arrogant, lazy and slovenly. They are the ice over which I glide, they make my mistress’s wheel revolve, and spin the sphere that serves her for a shoe. But when these idiots let me escape, can I be blamed for slipping away?

We sometime need to think outside the box, though we are always inside the box (or boxes) of somewhat!

The Household Guide To Dying!

I was searching for books to read (about three months' ago) and I used key words "death" and also "dying" and I found this book which is named The Household Guide to Dying written by Debra Adelaide.

The center figure of the book, Delia, is a columnist who provides popular household advice to life's most important problems. However, Delia's life, it turns out, is being cut short, because she is losing her long battle with cancer. Thus, she decides to organize her remaining months, and her husband's and children's lives without her, the same way she has always ordered their household (*I notice some of you may not agree with this approach, and neither do I. On the other hand, leaving some good words or advices to their foreseeable future issues may still be a good idea.).

It's more for a leisure (and not heavy) reading. For example: Tips for those intending to purchase their own coffins: allow for ample time, take supplies, be prepared for surprises. Better still, remember the advantages of online shopping and throw caution to the wind: one is unlikely to get carried away and order several coffins, as happens when buying film posters, novelty cufflinks, cleanskin wines or all the other bargains offered on eBay. (Hahahah!)

Towards the end of the book, there is a paragraph which I like, when talking about her love to the children:

How much I love them, and yet how much I desire to be free. How I can now adore every particle of them and yet for the first time want to leave, without a single stab of guilt. That's a surprise too. I imagined dying to be similar to leaving them at the school gate on the first day,knowing you have to go, you want to go, but every muscle screaming as much as them to stay, every cell clawing you back. But no, now I'm feeling it for the first and last time in my life, I discover it isn't like that at all. I am calm. I feel no pain. I watch them coming and going and my heart could not be fuller with them, but I experience total freedom. My family. It seems to be an ending yet not a goodbye. I seem to be leaving them for something much better, thought I can't have loved them more. Although I want them, I can let them go. Such splendid poetic ambiguity. I thought I was right before this and now I know if for certain. Death is a poetic moment.

You Should Write Your Story ... Cause Someday You Will Die!

Under the encouragement of a lot of you, the readers of this Blogger, friends and friends of friends, I have started preparing myself in writing a book. So as you may imagine correctly, I borrowed a few books from the library and also started doing my desk research (i.e. Google). One of the book, named "The Autobiographer's Handbook" edited by Jennifer Traig is a good reference and it is filled with advises from various writers. Right at the beginning, in the introduction by Dave Eggers, when he discussed why one should write a memoir, he cut right at the point, he said "You should write your story because you will someday die, and without your story on paper, most of it will be forgotten." Hahahah! I can't help laughing as this statement is precisely why (or at least one of the three main reasons) I started this Blogger, i.e. to allow something tangible for my family and friends to hold on when I am no longer around them.

It continues and almost towards the end of the introduction, it quoted a paragraph.

... There is no one in all the world toward whom I have an unkind thought, and I trust I have the good will of all mankind, and I have been blessed with some kind friends, whose faithful affection has made life worth living and very beautiful. ...

I live for those who love me,
For those who know me true;
For the Heaven that smiles above me,
And awaits my coming, too.
For the wrongs that need resistance,
For the right that needs assistance,
For the glory in the distance,
And the good that I can do.

There are a few chapters in this book which I specially enjoyed reading, e.g. Writing Through Pain, the Appendixes, etc., while the last sentence of the book is very encouraging, it says "We thank you for listening to us as we wait to listen to you." Okay, let's start the writing then!

A Special Posting of Comment on This Blogger

 This morning I woke up early as I was expecting a call from the other side of the world by 9am. Then, as the call was delayed for an hour, I spent the time in browsing back on the posting of this Blogger and I found one comment posting under "Yesterday Was A Sunday!" dated 5th July, 2010. For your ease of reference, the comment is copied and pasted here below:

Friends directed me to your beautiful site, Matthew, mentioning that you quoted from my memoir "Not Yet". Thank you for building a bridge to my work. Busy writing my new novel to meet a deadline, I can now only peruse a half dozen of your entrees. I focused on the family ones - and what a strong and caring family you have Beyond those who are clearly of your own blood relations, and adopted as I was, to me, "family is who loves you". Buddha said, "Be where you are; otherwise, you will miss your life." And so, in all your joyful sharing of the daily and ordinary pleasures that matter, you reflect a full and contented life. Your words inspire many to feel included in your philosophy of living a good life, to be "family" with you. I look to your living example with much respect. You know the ten thousand blessings. If I may - to you and all your family - with admiration and affection, from your fellow writer,
Wayson Choy, Toronto

Mr Wayson Choy is the writer for a book called "Not Yet" which I did a posting on 24th June, 2010 and he also wrote a few other beautiful books, the Jade Peony, and Paper Shadows, which I just finished reading them. What make Mr Choy special is his experience of facing death and look at his beautiful words and quotation in above posting again. 

Thank you Wayson! Thank you for dropping by!

Above are two other books written by Mr Wayson Choy.

Despicable Me!

I haven't been to the cinema for a very long time and I recall vaguely that last time I was there for the Avatar (which was an excellent movie). Then, yesterday afternoon, after a few weeks talking about it, we decided to take the early show of Despicable Me in 3D. I must admit, nowadays, only 3D films can draw me into the cinema, and believe me, I can be there for days after days, watching all these 3D movies.

The story is a relative simple one, a bad guy is transformed into a good guy by the warm hearts of a few cute little girls. Surely you would agree that you are there NOT for the story line, but more to appreciate the details of the character and 90 minutes of visual and audio effects that allow you to escape from the real world temporary. And you may be able to leave the cinema with a few lines that you treasured most, or even pretended that you are one of the characters. (*I actually like Victor a lot, and his little belly underneath the exercise suit, and not pajama!)

It's a lovely movie and brought good memories to us and I encourage you to also find time to enjoy this movie (or anyone else you like, e.g. the Inception, I was told is very good too!). Relaxation can be in the form of "gently breath in and breath out", and relaxation can be enjoying a movie with someone you care and love, or relaxation can be just half an hour walk in a park nearby. Keep in mind "Relax" is difficult to learn, but as soon as you can master this skill, you will be able find already 50% of the joy of life. I am still learning but I am glad that I am making good progress in this direction.

Recovery Or Remission

In Chinese language, it is hard to differentiate between "recovery" and "remission". Since yesterday's interview article in Sing Tao Daily, a lot of friends, and friends of friends, called or emailed me and congratulated me on my "miraculous recovery". Which "recovery" means usually "return to healthy and normal life". In the case of cancer, which also expressed in my previous postings, we need to be caution that once we have cancer with us, it is going to be with us, and we need to learn how to "live with him". In my case, I am very lucky (again Praise the Lord) that apparently I responded well to the drug (Tarceva), in additional to other contributors, and as per my latest CT-Scan (on 22/June 2010) that most of the foot prints of Mr Cancer in my body is now gone (except effusion on my left chest and it will take some time for the spines and skeletal bones to repair themselves). In medical term, usually my situation is called "in remission", which means "temporary diminution" (reduction in disease/pain). Like what I posted on 28th June, 2010, the day that I learned about my latest progress, we still need to be cautious to take good care of ourselves, be it the diet, or managing the side effects of the drugs. Although the cancer is in remission now, we need to be prepared that it may come back ... anytime at his wish! On the other hand, like everyday before, we shall continue to live our life to the fullest ... everyday!

A lot of you want me to disclose the secrets of my "speedy recovery" (and again it's in remission versus recovery), and other than those 5 contributing factors, I really don't have much to offer. Also, please take special note that everyone of us are different individuals, we are a stand-alone system and may respond differently to same things. Therefore, I would suggest each one of us should try to tailor ourselves for a scheme best suiting ourselves. I will try to write more in this direction in future postings and I certainly hope you will find them useful. The most important of all remains "the positive attitude" as once you decide to stay strong emotionally, your positive energy immediately comes to you and you can actually feel you are stronger already. Try to take a deep breathe and you can immediately feel the oxygen being transmitted through your blood vessels into your body, the positive energy! Stay relax and keep breathing in and then out ... repeat this a few times and you should already feel the effectiveness of your body.

All best wishes to all of you, good health and an enjoyable everyday life!

This picture was taken in West Lake in Hangzhou City of China. It's so relax and peaceful. Then, you can actually follow the rhythm of the willow and then breath-in and breath-out.

Thank You For The Call!

Today is Friday and my first appointment didn't start until 10:30am, so I decided to sleep-in. Esther took Olivia to the summer school so I don't need to get up early, except got up briefly for my morning medication. Then, it was about 9:00am that my house phone rang. A man's voice on the other side, speaking in Mandarin but of very strong Cantonese accent, claiming him as the reporter from a state news agency, and would like to do an interview with me. ... ... Hahahah! It's the voice of my old buddy George, although I must admit "Your Mandarin has improved a lot since all your frequent traveling to China in recent years!"

It's a great and enjoyable surprise for me to get a call from my old buddies while I was half sleeping (and didn't quite get back my conscious yet). I am also very thankful to the latest technology (Skype in this case) that we can do the video conference together. The feeling is great and it's like almost sitting opposite to one another. It's still the start of the day here in Vancouver, while it's already passed mid-night in Hong Kong. "You made my day!" and I decided to get to the Blogger and put this down. In fact, the Sing Tao Daily interview is published also today (reference separate web-links).

Guys, thank you for calling in this morning and don't let it stop! Hahahah! 

In above picture, Matthew is sitting with his best three friends!

Thirty Thumbs Up!

Lately, as you may notice that I have been keeping myself rather busy. I would even call myself greedy as "time" is so precious for me now that I would like to do as much as possible. In additional to some ad-hoc tasks that are jammed in during the day, e.g. someone would like me to talk to his/her relative who is recently diagnosed with cancer and he/she is not emotionally well. With my pleasure, I am more than happy to talk to them over the phone, or in some cases, even meet with them and sit and talk with them. To share with them what I have just experienced and what I think contributed to my recovery process, among which, positive attitude is ranked the top contributor.

It's about 11:20am this morning that the home phone rang and on the line was Mr Albert Tsui, the senior reporter of Sing Tao Daily. He read my Blogger and learned about my miraculous recovery and would like to do a follow up interview with me. We then set a time for 4:30pm this afternoon to conduct the interview in my home care unit. Albert is a gentleman. He speaks softly and remind me of a good colleague of mine back in Hong Kong. As you can see from below picture, he is a very kind person. The interview is stretched to 75 minutes while originally was meant for 45 minutes. Then, when I asked when the article will be published, keep in mind the time is almost at 6:00pm, he said he is returning to the office to do the writing and the article will be out tomorrow. Yes, tomorrow, i.e. 16th July, 2010. So Dear Readers, get a copy of Sing Tao Daily tomorrow.

As you notice it's our tradition to request our guests to post "thumbs up" for this Blogger. Another two thumbs up! Thank you Albert! (*You may also notice my new look as I have my haircut just last week while the smile remains the same!)

Everything Is Going Well!

My last posting was on 6th July, 2010 and it's amazing how time flies and it's already a week since my last posting. Indeed it's kind of extraordinary that I did not touch the computer for so long as I was busy on some other things. For example, I am preparing to return to work (and thus I have been doing so extra work so that I can be better prepared when I am requested to start working), and I have started talking to a few of my friends just in case if I am able to return to my normal work life again. All these activities took up some considerable time and in additional to my "plain laziness" that I would like to lay back and continue to read those unfinished books during the past months. (*I have very bad habit that I like to read a few books in parallel, as a result, some of them were left unfinished which I would then do speed-reading in order to finish them.)

Spain finally won the World Cup in South Africa. It would be better if Netherland could win. As soon as Paul (the Octopus) selected Spain as the winner, I shy away from supporting Netherland as I knew well that Paul is 100% accurate and it's difficult to beat his prediction.

The daily routine is almost back to normal, except that I am having the luxury of getting to relax and have a nap whenever I want to. I am still enjoying my flexible time as the appointments are not too tight and I am able to accommodate any last minutes request to sit for a cup of tea among friends.

The above picture was taken on 11th July 2010 by 11:00am at the end of No.2 Road and the dyke. The water level was low and you can see the river bank easily. People were fishing near there except that they are very small and I personally don't think it's a good idea to take those small fishes home. The weather that day was great and two and a half hours later, in South Africa, Spain won the World Cup 2010!

Normalization Of Life ... And A New Life!

This is written on a T-Shirt: "How the hell did I get this old ?!!" and after the recent tango with Mr Cancer and now that I am having a second chance to live my life, as you can imagine, being me, being a person who cannot sit still, I am planning to do quite a few things. You may have observed that in the past week, I have missed posting in two days, which is against what I used to do, which is aiming at a daily posting.

I have given some serious thoughts on this Blogger, in additional to the plenty of suggestion from you. Keep in mind the original objectives of this Blogger, i.e. to talk (openly) about death and dying, to make cancer our friend, and a record for my family and relatives (for their ease of review in future). Starting from today, I will not do a daily posting, instead I will do a posting whenever I feel like to and especially on things that I find interesting to record (and do a posting on). After said this, do come back often, as it's my intention to keep this Blogger active (except that it would not be a daily posting).

May I also take this opportunity to thank you all for your supports in the past, wish you every best and good health!

Yesterday Was A Sunday!

It was cloudy and outside temperature was a little low, though still comfortable. Esther needed to go downtown for a performance, so we got up, had our breakfast and traveled to China town. The performance place is quite special. It locates on Columbia Street, between East Pender and East Hastings, right in the door step of Yin Ping Benevolent Society, as yesterday, it was their 90th Anniversary and therefore the performance.

It's after noon when they started the Chinese dancing program. It's very interesting that when they were performing the Chinese Opera (people singing the Chinese traditional songs), there were not many audience, and as soon as the Chinese dancing program started, the audiences gathered around, and the tourists started to take out their cameras and camcorders to take photos and videos. I also observed that there are some visitors who might have traveled long distance to join this event.

When Esther's performance was near the end, Olivia and I walked back to the car-park and at the corner of Columbia Street, there was a guy painting on the wall.

He simply used some brushes and some simple tools and without sketches he painted very well on the walls. Next time when you are around in Columbia Street, I would assume his works would have finished and you can take some good photos of them. They are quite nice.

Then, we returned to Richmond while some friends were waiting and we had lunch together. After the lunch, I went for an afternoon nap and by the time I woke up, it's about time to attend the evening mass. I totally forgot my medication (pain-killer) and therefore we rushed back home after the mass, took the medication before we went to the restaurant to join everyone for the Sunday dinner. It's very nice to learn everyone has enjoyed their week, spending outdoor camping, fishing trip and overseas visits, and sharing of their great moments during the trips. Life is about sitting among friends and listening to their enjoyable moments. So nice!

The Key Five Contributors

 

In the past few days, I continuously receiving greetings and blessings from friends and relatives. Of my spines and skeletal bones are still under stress and I am still under the medication of pain-killer (morphine), and like most of you said correctly, I still need to be caution about what I do and eat. BCCA is going to monitor my blood indicator and another CT-Scan in two months' time. Only then I can be ascertain that my condition is stable. Again, even if my condition is stable, I still need to be caution that now I have cancer with me and I need to learn how to live with it (and be prepared that it will come back any time as per it's wish). 

In summary, there are five key contributors in my so-called "recovery", or I prefer to call it "improvements":

1) A positive attitude: This is of prime importance. To me, this one stand out significantly. Imagine no matter you are sick or not, if you are having a positive attitude, everyday of yours will be happily lived. This positive attitude can also be contagious and very powerful.

2) The diet change: As recommended by another cancer survivor, I adopted the "alkaline" diet, i.e. to drink a lot of fresh juices and eat mostly (fresh) salad. It is important to avoid red meat and seafood with shell. In a reduced amount, I do eat fishes and white meats. White sugar should be avoided.

3) The health supplements: After careful selection, I decided to take ONLY multi-vatimins and YunZhi (Oncozac), to help on my immunology system. 

4) Appropriate exercise: Keep yourself active and move your muscles whenever you can. Even if you are immobile and confined to the bed, you can still move your muscle one by one and keep them active and keep the blood circulation.

5) Qi Gong: I didn't believe in this in the past. But this time I learned it. Basically, it is about relaxation and breathing. It's a very natural activity that most of us can do with ease and it really helps. It also help you mentally (as it's also like meditation).

In future postings, one by one, I shall share with you my experience on above in details. The objective is to provide you with some reference in case you may be interested in them. It's also good for those who are healthy as in my opinion, they are also useful for preventive purpose. 

Wish you and your family all the best and good health!

Canada Day!

Yesterday I called up BCCA to check on my CEA (tumor marker) reading, and as expected, it is now at 71, versus the highest at 1400 and at 290 a month ago. This result re-affirmed the CT-Scan report done on 22nd June, 2010. It's a miracle! To tell you the truth, I am still digesting this piece of news. It's strange, isn't it? I have no problem facing death, and now my report showed that most of the cancers are gone and I have issues accepting it as-is.

A good friend of mine was joking me that I should asked the doctor if they have made the mistake in my first scan, which clearly no mistake were made, the bone-scan, the two CT-Scan (one in the brain and one in the abdominal cavity), the biopsy and finally the MRI, etc. Then, another CT-Scan on 28th April, 2010 which showed that my body conditions was worsen than in end February (which I did not report it in this detail in my Blogger), which lead to the decision of stopping my traditional chemotherapy and switched to the second line treatment, i.e. Tarceva. But reading the latest CT-Scan report again and again, I really learned some new vocabulary, the words are all meant for similar meaning: disappeared, relief, no longer seen, replaced, decreased in size and now challenging to see, compatible with healing, unremarkable, not identified, etc. No matter what words are used, important is the message!

A lot of my friends congratulated me on this good news, and same time, they also cautioned me on my diet, my rest and my living style. They are still very concerned that one day the cancer will come back to me (and we are going to have the same story all over again)! They promised me to continue their prayers for me and they would like me to enjoy my life much more than before. Gladly and willingly, I accept all what you said and suggested! Please accept my heartfelt "thank you"! Without you, this miracle would not have happened.

It's Canada Day today! It's the same me and in a way it's not the same me anymore, especially when the body was confirmed with cancer spread in a number of organs, and now it is cleared! This Canada Day is the same as before and to me, this Canada Day is not the same as before!

This picture was taken last year in Canada Place on Canada Day. Using a low angle, the illusion is the ladder is a tall one and the clown is performing stunt, but actually the height is no more than a person. This is a good way to train us looking at thing from different angle.