On 23rd April, 2010, I listed the 20 things people with cancer want you to know, written by Lori Hope and received some positive feedback from the readers. Actually, towards the end of the book, there listed another 21 MORE things people with cancer want you to know. Just to complete the whole picture, may be it's a good idea to list them out as well.
1) "Treat me with kid gloves, but don't let me know it."
2) "I need to be touched." (Ask permission first, of course.)
3) "I want to be indulged."
4) "I like it when you express confidence in my ability to make the right decision."
5) "I want you to help me believe in miracles."
6) "When you say you're going to do something for me, follow through quickly."
7) "Being sick costs a lot; offer to treat me, and maybe even insist."
8) "I want you to be honest with me."
9) "I don't always like to be asked about my cancer."
10) "Don't tell me I'll be fine."
11) "I don't want to be blamed for having cancer."
12) "Often I want and need quiet."
13) "I am unique, unlike anyone else with cancer."
14) "I don't like to hear how awful I look."
15) "I don't like to be labeled."
16) "I will talk about my cancer if I feel the need to."
17) "I don't want to feel tainted or contagious."
18) "I need to have privacy."
19) "It's hard for me to hear about your fears."
20) "I need you to believe that I will live through this."
21) "I need you to acknowledge my feelings."
Like last time in the (first) 20 things listed, I may not agree with all the points. In today's 21 things, I even find some of them rather normal even for people without cancer as it's simple social respect. Some of the points are rather controversial and I may even find although people with cancer should be taken good care of, they should still be regarded as an individual member of the society and should NOT have privileges too much above other non-cancer members of the society, keep in mind that there can still be many other life challenges that one can face in their daily life.
The key, as a person with cancer, is to take good care of ourselves and to live everyday the best we can. We can certainly try to communicate (or even educate) our caretakers, family and friends in how to take good care of us, but same time, we ourselves are playing the biggest part in this process. We need to always take the first step, i.e. to take good care of ourselves!
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I also agree with most of the 20 things and the 21 things cancer patients want us to know. My mom too is a terminal cancer patient who is too proud to let other people including me to help. It makes it difficult for the caregiver sometimes.
ReplyDeleteHi, I just wanted to say, hold in there. And I pray you will have a peace inside. God loves you, and turn to him when you are scared. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but writing this blog is brave and comendable, and i salute you for it. take care and God Bless. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Steffany,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your encouragement!
Yours, Matthew
Matthew, I agree with you that many points here are ruls for social respect. i think everyone regardless of their memberships in the society, shold be respected in the ways that were listed in the points (i.e., privacy, interpersonal attitudes). people with cancer too can face challenges in life. go go fighters!!
ReplyDeletethe key point as you mentioned, is to take good care of ourselves. i agree with you, Matthew.
... and also to love and pray
Maggie W.