Enlightenment & Wisdom and A Different Kind of Happiness

I was doing some research through the internet, and I found some works done by Dr Paul Wong in Toronto. He himself is also suffering from cancer. He is a Professor in Psychology, Clinical Psychologist, author, speaker and justice fighter. His greatest happiness is to bring happiness to the suffering people. He also organized the International Network of Personal Meaning (INPM) of website www.meaning.ca or you may want to check out www.drpaulwong.com for more of his details.

The below two abstracts are direct quotation from Dr Paul Wong's published articles. It drilled into the subject about "dark happiness" and the "new meaning of suffering". Please check it they also echo with what inside you, especially those who endured some sufferings in the past!

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Enlightenment and wisdom (By Paul Wong 2008)

It is informed by both Eastern religions (Buddhism, Taoism) and Christianity. It is related to the wisdom traditions from East and West.

1. Contentment that the situation could have been worse
2. The wisdom of letting go of what cannot be kept
3. The wisdom of accepting what cannot be changed
4. Feelings of equanimity that worst would be death, which is inevitable anyway
5. Knowing that life is transient and that all suffering will pass away
6. Knowing that as long as I still have life, I need to be mindful of every passing moment

Meaning and purpose of suffering

It is based on Frankl’s (1984) logotherapy and Wong’s meaning-centered counselling (Wong, 2008c).

1. An abiding sense of meaning and purpose that makes my suffering bearable
2. The confidence that I will not suffer in vain and that my message of hope and happiness to suffering people will find acceptance somewhere in the world
3. The satisfaction that I may be broken, but I am not defeated
4. I will take a defiant stance towards whatever suffering I may have to endure
5. I am glad that I am worthy of suffering for others – that my experience of hell can open a door to heaven for people I don’t even know

The above threads of thoughts and feelings once sustained Viktor Frankl in Nazi death camps; they also sustained me in my journey to hell.

For want of a better term, the kind of happiness I have just described may be called dark-happiness, because it can only be found in the dark night of the soul. It is rejoicing in the midst of suffering. It is the process of becoming our best when we are in the worst possible situations. Such dark-happiness may be best described in metaphors. It is a tapestry of dark colors with a few bright threads. It is the rainbow after a storm, or silver lining of a dark cloud. It is the rejoicing after surviving a terrible trauma. It is the sweet aftertaste of eating something bitter. One has to feel bad before one can feel good, and one has to let go before one can receive the blessings.

Happiness through suffering can also be described as chaironic happiness, because it is an unexpected gift from suffering – a gift of new insight and an inner peace beyond understanding. It is something spiritual and transcendental, independent of the negative experiences.

There is plenty of empirical evidence supporting the above six ingredients of dark-happiness. At this point, I don’t have the strength to marshal all the empirical findings about the beneficial effects of these six factors on well-being in noxious situations.

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A different kind of happiness (By Paul Wong 2008)

The kind of happiness one finds in the noxious world is qualitatively and quantitative different from what people generally experience in the normal world.

It is difficult to understand dark happiness without personally experiencing it. It is like a lone star in a dark sky, a little wild flower beside a pile of wreckage, or a little silent stream in a desert.

But it is always there for those who dare to choose the narrow and rocky road; it is always there for those whose minds have been enlightened. Here are a few descriptors of dark happiness:

1. It is contemplative and deep rather than energetic and upbeat.
2. It is spiritual and compassionate rather than materialistic and competitive.
3. It is easily contented with any reduction of pain or a return to some resemblance of normal life.
4. It is primarily interested in maintaining a sense of equanimity no matter what happens.
5. It seeks to wrestle some meaning from life in order to make suffering more bearable.
6. It is rooted in faith, which is based on both beliefs and lived experiences.
7. It is courageous and it confronts life’s adversities head-on.
8. It is persistent and it never gives up on life.
9. It expands your mind to transcendental and mystical realms.
10. It approaches life with open hands and generous hearts.
11. It hopes for the best but prepares for the worst.
12. It says “yes” to life, even when life stinks.
13. It is a balancing act between hope and despair, happiness and sorrow.
14. It is a special gift in your desperation.
15. It is resting in grace when everything else has failed you.
16. It is singing praises while tears trickle down your cheeks.
17. It is the feeling of being blessed while in the depth of mourning.

Is the above a description of my own emotional state, or is it a general portrait of dark happiness? I don’t know and would love to find out from others on the less traveled road.

But one thing I know for sure – no matter how unhappy or dissatisfied I am with the world condition or with my own life situation, there is always a special music in my heart – all is well with my soul, as long as I keep the faith.

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