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18 June, 2010

The Needs Of the Dying

David Kessler co-authored two books with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, Life Lessons and On Grief and Grieving. He wrote himself the book The Needs Of the Dying - A Guide for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life's Final Chapter. As Marianne Williamson would describe that "This book serves the needs of the person sitting by the bedside as much as it does the person who is lying in the bed. In it you will find gentleness and peace in the experience of death."


The listed Needs of the Dying is indeed a good checklist for the caretakers as well as those who are dying and who would like to find out what they may be missing in their end stage of life (and therefore to make this stage more rewarding, peaceful and fill with comfort.

* The need to be treated as a living human being.
* The need to maintain a sense of hopefulness, however changing its focus may be.
* The need to be cared for by those who can maintain a sense of hopefulness, however changing this may be.
* The need to express feelings and emotions about death in one's own way.
* The need to participate in decision concerning one's care.
* The need to be cared for by compassionate, sensitive, knowledgeable people.
* The need for continuing medical care, even though the goals may change from "cure" to "comfort"goals.
* The need to have all questions answered honestly and fully.
* The need to seek spirituality.
* The need to be free of physical pain.
* The need to express feelings and emotions about pain in one's own way.
* The need of children to participate in death.
* The need to understand the process of death.
* The need to die in peace and dignity.
* The need not to die alone.
* The need to know what the sanctity of the body will be respected after death.

In the process of writing this book, David visited Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, the pioneer in research of death & dying. When asked if she had any comments or advice regarding the needs and rights of the dying, she said "If we could remember to treat the living well, we wouldn't need to remember the rights of the dying; we would meet their needs naturally."

I cannot agree more! If we know how to treat the living well, both for ourselves as well as the other fellow citizens, we would manage our needs of the dying very well.

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Lakers (L.A.) finally won the NBA champion this year from the tight hands of Celtics (Boston). Both teams need to fight up to Game 7 and both are very competitive and playing extremely hard. Even at the end of Session 3, I would have thought Celtics would be the champion, as Lakers were not really doing well. Then, come the last session, and under the pressure of the local audiences, Celtics was kind of giving in and compromised with their performance. Overall it was a very nice game to watch!

3 comments:

  1. I had visited b4 since May.05.2010 regarding budget protocol.

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    http://www.omeganutrition.com/contact.php

    good luck

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  2. My mom passed away on June 4. I was with her during the last moment.
    Not easy to bear as I feel like an orphan right now. Anyway, thanks for your advice throughout the previous weeks. And I always wish you the very best in your fight against terminal cancer. I wish there was some place up above where I can meet my mom again someday.

    John

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  3. Dear John,

    It's very nice you were with her during the last moment (and the days before) and she provides you with numerous memories. You are filled with love and you will soon feel the love by others.

    If you place yourself to God's hand, then without a doubt, you are going to meet your mom again (sometime in the future) some place up above. Meantime, enjoy your time here and now!

    Take good care of yourself!

    Yours, Matthew

    ReplyDelete