Facing Death - Embracing Life

Facing Death Embracing Life - Understanding What Dying People Want is written by Dr. David Kuhl and was published in 2006. It's more like a self-diagnosis manual and listed out a lot of questions which where us thinking deep (before we die).

Inside which in Chapter Six: Truth, there are a few paragraphs which I like.

+++++     +++++     +++++

Knowing that one has a terminal illness may serve as a catalyst for seeking, understanding and speaking one's truth. Questions previously ignored now linger in one's thoughts. Who am I? How did growing up in my family of origin affect who I am today? and What is my unfinished business with regard to who I am in the world? are a few examples of such questions. People think about their past and present relationships, their sense of purpose, value and meaning, and their sense of connection to the universe, to all of time and space, to God. It seems that people with a terminal illness have a deep desire to know themselves and to be known by others.
-----
As we move toward the truth of our experience, we will inevitably learn the value of forgiveness, forgiving others, being forgiven and forgiving ourselves. Forgiveness is not only a word, it is a process. Forgiveness begins by stepping into our emotional pain, by acknowledging what the real issues are and how we feel about them. It means we can no longer deny what happened. We no longer attempt to explain it away or try to understand the other person and why the hurt might have occurred. We no longer pretend it didn't happen, trivialize its effect on us or try to forget it. It means we look att he hurt and its effect on us, that is, we look at what our lives have been like with the hurt; we also look at what our lives would have been like without the hurt.
-----
What do you feel now? (At times we tend to negate or trivialize our emotions. These emotions must find a place for safe expression. Otherwise, they remain denied, suppressed and/or repressed. According to Meninger, they will find a way to be expressed in other ways such as anger, fear, sarcasm, withdrawal, hostility and self-deprecation. They may also seep out of us through "rage, depression, passive-aggressive behaviors, self-abuse, abuse towards others, an inability to be effective in the world, and the inability to hae emotionally intimate relationships.")

+++++     +++++     +++++

Towards the end stage of life, or I would debate with you that actually this should also be done for everyone, everyday for a normal life, that the truth, the forgiveness and the high level of self awareness which lead to emotional wellness (or at least a better understanding of the destructive side of human emotion). Often, I encourage the Cancer Fellows, i.e. those who are suffering from cancer like myself, try to have a clear and critical thinking ourselves, to prepare ourselves better (emotionally) and thus our Loved ones, our family and friends, would also find it easier to communicate with us. To achieve this, we can also make the End-Of-Life process more enjoyable to everyone involved. There may be moments that we would need to face the pain of cancer, or the side effects brought by our medication. But if we can truly enjoy the moments that we are together with family and friends, we are truly enjoying our life, no matter how much time we have, it's the enjoyment and the joy that can last forever. Yes, forever!

There is another Chapter Nine dealing with Experiencing Spirituality at the End of Life, but I tend not to address it in order not to diffuse the core message of today, i.e. the truth and the forgiveness!