A Better Way of Dying?

The weather this week is so so beautiful which I don't think anyone would have the slightest complaint. It's only that due to skin rash, I am advised not to go out during mid day to avoid the exposure to UV lights which I am more than happy to adhere to. The air in the morning is very fresh. It's so fresh that as soon as you inhale, you actually feel the oxygen inside your lung was transferring to your other body parts through the blood stream. I am not exaggerating and you have to go out and try it for yourself. Yes, go out and try it for yourself!

Today is Saturday (weekend) and I am not sure if it's a good idea to talk about this serious topic. I borrowed a book from the local library called "A Better Way of Dying" and subtitled as "How to make the best choices at the end of the life". This book is written by two sisters, one is a lawyer (Eileen Fitzpatrick) and the other one is a medical doctor (Jeanne Fitzpatrick).

The book's subject is about the Contract of Compassionate Care. It lets you choose what medical treatment you want or don't want at the end of your life. It gives you the option to choose a natural death. The authors placed high emphasis on the communication process and believes that Compassion Protocol opens a dialogue between you and your family, friends and health care professionals regarding your end-of-life care. Keep in mind, this dialogue is usually absent in our society, or more accurately rephrased that it is purposely avoided.

"The option to choose a natural death" is a controversial topic. It involves debate of various legal, social, ethical and religious issues. In early March, when I showed the MRI report of my spine and skeletal bones to an Oncologist, seeking his second opinion. He came back with a short email "Your report is not good and I suggest you immediately prepare your personal matters, e.g. your will." Hahahah! I was expecting a second opinion in how to go forward, and rather than dealing with medical issues, it seems to me he believes legal issues are more important and this leads me to believe that my (biological) situation must be pretty bad! Then, I find an appropriate time to talk to Esther (and later with Leo) regarding my will. I told them if at any point of time (in future) that I am so sick that I am unconscious and need to rely on medical instruments to prolong my existence but gain no quality of life, they would have to allow me to leave and instruct the medical professionals to stop using all those medical instruments. I also make them understand that it is MY decision, and not their decision, and they should have no emotional burden as they simply follow my instruction to act accordingly. I also informed them regarding the donation of my body organs.

Indeed I have seen a few struggles by families when their Loved ones were dying and fell unconscious. The picture is so sad that you see tubes and medical instruments are attached everywhere to an unconscious human body which lacks the ability to provide you with a normal feedback, e.g. a blink of the eye. Often, a simple cough, or a bad facial expression, brings anxiety and gives their family and friends the wrong impression that he/she must be suffering in their dying bed. A lot of scientific journals would argue that although a person fall unconscious, their six senses actually still working! Anyway, I am more looking at "quality of life" and if the prolonged period of stay is a torture to my family and friends, and especially to my Loved Ones, then I prefer to cut this suffering short and keep it a pretty process. As you all would agree, it's not the length that it matters, it's the quality that matters!