A friend of mine, Vicky, sent me a weblink to an article appeared in New York Times Blog on March 15, 2010 titled "With Cancer, Let’s Face It: Words Are Inadequate." written by By DANA JENNINGS.
The article captured well the feeling of the patients (e.g. me). Inspired or provoked a few touching thoughts! The ending three paragraphs are superb. Allow me to read it for you:
Silences make us squirm. But when I was sickest, most numbed by my treatment, it was more than healing to bask in a friend’s compassionate silence, to receive and give a hug, to be sustained by a genuine smile.
Strangely enough, although cancer threatened my life it also exalted it, brought with it a bright and terrible clarity.
So, no, cancer isn’t a battle, a fight. It’s simply life — life raised to a higher power.
[The above picture was taken in September 2009 in Alaska. The cruise went deep and so near to a glacier and made a 360 degree turn. "Everyone on the cruise can see it close! You can almost touch it!" The Captain said. The feeling at the time, when approaching the glacier, apart from some cheering sounds on the deck, is so peaceful, yet you can see the glacier's movement. The greatness of the Mother Nature and yet It's simply life!]
you are a great photographer Matt. I remember this moment well. We were sitting in the restaurant having lunch when the ship approached the glacier. This turned out to be a memorable holiday with Mum, Joey and his friends. A rare occasion, particular for mum to have all three of us to be with her 24/7 for the entire week! Not that we don't make any effort to do it more often, but one tends to focus on 'everyday routine' and let's face it, it is not that easy with three busy bees living in different continents. So I am going to break the tradition and coming to stay for four weeks until you get fed up with me :-D
ReplyDeleteyes. We should all stop and smell the roses! And have the mindset to really appreciate what everyday life is giving us, to enjoy, and savor.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you like this article! This article really touched me and made me rethink the words we used and the meanings they attached. I am so used to media or people using the term "battle" or "brave" when they want to pomp some "positive" air into the black balloon of death or illness. "It was all out of good intention," we always thought, but no one really told me if the person to whom we were addressing this felt the same way. It is almost as if we are using these terms to comfort ourselves, rather than the ones we hope to comfort. What a powerful yet inadequate creation our language is. I guess sometimes all we need is a genuine smile and/0r some compassionate silence.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that everyone had a great time at alaska and that's a beautiful photo Mathew.
ReplyDeleteEveryone been so busy and lots time forget how important family gathering is, treasure all those memories, and always bring u a big smile on your face....
Dear Matt: I'm so glad that when Irene poped-up the idea last April and I just executed the Alaska Curise immediately. And you, I don't even have to kidnap you on-board... You simply chose to follow... And of course, mum too. For that entire week, I enjoyed every minute with you, Irene & mum and all our friends Lity & Michael, Cathy, Julianna and Peggy. Those Happy, Laughing and Chatty (in particular - you) made our trip so memorable... And will be with us for the Rest of Our Lives!!! Thanks again, Joey =)
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