The Mind of The Teenagers Today!

I watched a News program produced in Hong Kong, interviewing two successful persons today and their views on today's young people's view towards work and opportunity. Both of them, almost of same opinion that, they prefer to be born in today's Hong Kong as the economy are much bigger and opportunities are much more today versus the ninety seventies in Hong Kong. Then, it's about the mindset of the teenagers today that their level of endurance of work challenges are much less than before, and even assisted by their parents. There seems only a few youngsters who have the right mindset and are willing to endure pressure and willing to work harder in order to achieve more than their peers fellows.

Reflected on above, I was looking back at my work life as well as a few of my fellow friends and classmates. Indeed there are opportunities that we faced (during the eighties and nineties) which are no longer there, e.g. the open-door of China and our ability to bring in latest technology and products to mainland China. Meantime, it's almost indisputable that at the time, any person like myself, seems don't know "how to complain". We basically worked and worked, and for both the solution and the results, the goals. We seldom stopped and looked around of us and complained (and delayed our actions).

In my occasion, I tried to engage young people in order to get a better feeling of their mindset. They obvious grow up in a different environment, basically more comfort than what we had during our time. It's not that they cannot endure work challenges, or that they easily complain. It's mostly their mindset is developed with a different social background than ours. They have also witnessed success without paying much effort, e.g. in financial and investment fields.

Life (and work is part of the life) is full of challenges and pain and sufferings, and it also contains rewards and happiness. Main thing is to walk through it and enjoy it while you can. Endurance of pain  can train and grow you stronger. We shall not purposely avoid pain, but when pain comes, let it educate us and teach our body how to accept it.

(*This photo is taken by Edward.)

Early Morning Trip to BCCA!

It's good to set off early for the day, especially anyway I need to take the medicine at early hours. Esther and I set off by 7:15am while the sky was still dark and it\s so nice to observe the sky slowly getting brighter and finally, like this morning, the sky is totally bright and everything is so so nice. By the time we finished our radiotherapy, it's not even 8:30am and we are already start heading home and arrived there before 9:00am, still enough time to watch the morning Hong Kong news (and the latest episode about a big name, Dr Ho in Hong Kong and how his 4 wives and many children trying to get hold of his wealth, even before his death).

My breathing, after Qi Gong Master Hong's help for a week, has improved a lot. Now I can basically breath in and out without much obstacle. Swallowing is still an issue, but now my choice of foods have increased a lot and you may imagine me basically eating every now and then, like non-stop ... the energy level, from my own feelings, also improved. Okay, muscle of the body still weak and coughing still there from time to time, but the feeling, which to me is the most important thing (more than biological) is great!

Again, I want to thank you friends and relatives, you are all so great and without your prayers and love and care, I don't think I can come this far! I am gifted to have you guys with me and please keep me in mind as I shall continue need your prayers and supports in the days to come which I shall try to recover and further improve! Thank you!

Home Sweet Home!

Yesterday I was allowed to be release from Vancouver General Hospital and return home. It was also yesterday that I started my latest radiation therapy on my sine and throat. It will take 10 sections over 2-3 weeks time and then I shall proceed with my chemotherapy which was kind of half-way done (as first infusion was done before the spine surgery. It was stopped and shall start again after the radiotherapy.

You may still remember that I am having he swallowing problems. Coming back home, a lot of options immediately opened up, e.g. now I can mix fresh fruit with yogurt, I can do congee with meat and add my Chinese sauce to it, and I can try even new type of thick juice. Since yesterday, I observed that I have increased eating. To make my mouth more comfortable, I have my Chinese plums. I don't eat them, but simply keep them inside my mouth and make my mouth waterly. I can walk around the house and trying to take care of my own body with the help of Esther and others.

The greatest, now I am home and I can be with my family members everyday. Olivia and Leo, and then my Mom with my brother Joey. Irene is coming from London to join us in two days time. She was planning here for long as for the Chinese New Year coming up. We are going to have a family reunion and everyone will enjoy that gathering together.

This is the post that I can do it myself, yes, using my own netbook and make everyone's life easier. I continue to make progress in my breathing (and swallowing) and it's really great feeling to make progress everyday.

This morning Esther and I set off early for the 2nd radiotherapy treatment. Morning is always so fresh. The below photo was taken when I returned home, it's before 9:00am, was you up yet?

Again, friends and relatives, thank you again for your prayers! It works well and I am glad I am here so far. Although I am down at only 120 pounds, but my spirit is strong, as strong as ever!

Nothing you possess is eternal! Except the love and the memory. Everything else will vanish!

When you have a few minutes and look into life. What is life? Babies are born; some by happy parents but some don’t bear a clear reason and would starve since then. You can see it on the news all the time, yet the same incidents repeat everyday. Parents give birth to their own babies without giving them the love. Of course, there are many adorable parents who give birth to babies of their own, and have been loving them ever since. All the respect and adoration goes to these parents.

Then what is life? We grow up everyday, we learn new knowledge, new skill. We play different roles in the society, we take up new challenges and we contribute our work in various ways. We also enjoy our life, our happiness and our sorrows are shared. If we are lucky, we would have an extended family and friends, people that come and love us. They do whatever for us without really concerning about what they get back. At a certain stage (no one can be certain when or what age) disease, sickness, or accidents may strike us. On the statistics, 40% on cardiovascular, 33% on cancer and the rest on various reasons, e.g. accidents, other diseases etc.

Some obviously will die with less pain while others die of more pain and suffering. But it’s not up to us to choose. And circumstances show, different people have different preferences. Then, of course, the end stage of life, i.e. Death is merely the other side of Birth! They are the two sides of same corn. Birth came when Death is attached and will come with it. On record, we have not seen yet a human life is born without death.

So what do we get from life? Come with bare hands and go with bare hands. Nothing is in between. My friends, if I can say something here: It’s the Love, It’s the memory that maybe your life is unique, and eternal! In the hands of God, we Trust! Miracles are here!

Everything is related!

Long is related to short. Pain is related to joy. Happiness is related to unhappiness. Knowing is related to ignorance. A mountain of million years is related to a tree of thousand years is related to a human life of a hundred years and is related to a flower which lives by the day and hours. Comparing my life with the life of Earth makes it seem extremely short but comparing it with a flower, I am long lived and I can make every possible flower on Earth jealous. "How can you live that long?" But then how should we measure our life? By its length? Or by its achievements? By its quality? Or by how many friends he made by day? Or simply by contrasting one life with another, and then conclude that "Oh! your life is better because you have done more with it in the same length than I have."

To me, every life is unique! We are all different. Even though everything is related to one another, and everyone is related to another life, we are still unique.

As soon as cancer hit us, we seem to focus more in the length (quantity) of our life versus the quality of our life. We try very hard to find ways so that we can life longer. Meanwhile, we may have forgotten that we are sacrificing our quality of time. There are often debates which argue if an elderly lung cancer patient should go through a big lung surgery? It's hard to say as we never know what exactly is the result, or worse, it's often combined with emotional decisions and many other body conditions of the uniqueness of each individual. Or using me as an example, I came for the spine surgery in order to have my pain under control, but no one expects that complication here is my swallowing issue (in fact al the doctors still say it's a mystery) In circumstances such as this, we have to "stay cool and start learning" again. Learning how to take care of our body.

*Canucks played a wonderful game last evening. It was 3-3 all the way to the playoff. It was the last (3rd) score when Luongo covered the puck with his full body, but his body rolled into the goal line and finally the judges said "it's a goal" when most of the audiences like me still didn't even see the puck. It was a nice try!

You always have a choice! Always!

My case of "swallowing problems" now became an official mystery. All the professionals involved, after the big meetings and small ones, came back and said they don't really know what happened. They did offer me alternatives, such as drinking "thick" liquids in order to avoid risk of choking. Eating solid food is not possible, neither is consuming thin liquids a good idea. To go further down, they may also offer me alternatives such as adding a feeding tube directly to my intestine. This means the food will go straight into my intestine without me knowing the taste.

It always amazes me how little knowledge we have on our own body. We have been living with the same bodies for centuries long, and technically (and biologically) I doubt it has changed even a tiny bit structurally. And yet there are so many things about our own body that we don't know. Every knowledge is so deep and wide.

Last evening there was an interview about a father, whose daughter, aged 13, committed suicide a few years back. He wanted to come forward and speak up and to warn the Chinese community in Vancouver about "emotional wellness". Be more sensitive and caring to the kids, or your spouses. This kind of news always saddens me. As you can imagine, each day there are people struggling their way through the hospitals. They suffer for various kinds of pain, different degrees of pain, many different types of uncomfortableness and even some mysteries, perhaps an unknown case of swallowing problem.

If ever in the future, you think that you may have ran out of options, think again, as there is always a choice just around the corner, and a choice just in front of you.

White again in Vancouver

Vancouver was covered in white again. My hospital bed is facing the direction of Granville Island and therefore I get a spectacular view from my room. I am sure a beautiful scenery from a hospital bed can help in stronger recovery. Those that did not have beds with good view shall stay strong and thus a strong recovery.

After being in the hospital for 2 weeks, most of the muscles start to get weaker and I need to start working with them and get them stronger. Yesterday, I started to drink the thickened water, but meantime I should not drink too fast in order to avoid choking, keep in mind that my major complication now is not to allow food/liquid to go into my air wave. The swallowing is taken slowly, almost like one sip at a time, and then allow the one sip to get to the stomach one at a time, so that I can swallow enough nutrients to keep me for the day, i.e. the energy that allows me to go for longer, and then longer. My body after all is my body. Obviously, some liquid are easier to swallow than the others, while some are tastier than others. The good news is that I can still "taste the tastes", and I can still "feel the texture of the food". Keep in mind only two days ago, it was me who cannot swallow and who do not even know the taste of a specific food item.

Global TV is promoting a campaign and a couple goes for it. A woman of 31 suffered from Terminal Stage IV cancer entered the competition. Her husband and she look great and are adorable. Their two kids, like many others, seem happy and trouble-free. Actually some of these shots gave me heart-breaking moments. Then, when I kind of settled and caught a few breaths, I told myself, "Everything will be okay!" Leave it to the hands of God, everything is going to be okay, one way or another! Compared to other fellow cancer patients in the other parts of the world, we are indeed the more lucky ones.

What we are doing now is: "stay strong, maintain our high spirit, work closely with the medical professionals and exercise and prepare our body for the key major challenges that will come our way in the near future.

It's difficult and nearly impossible for us to win God! We need to be gifted by Him if a miracle can take place. But what's important here is to open your heart wide enough, so when God grants us the miracle, we will be ready to accept, rather than sheltering ourselves away and having poor preparation.

Friends and fellows, I'm trying hard (as you can see) to walk to the other side of the challenge. No matter what the result will be, thank you for sharing the voyage with me as itself is an enjoyment. A joy!