Superficial Treatment ... Actually!

On 13th December, 2010 (Monday), consultation was arranged to meet with the radiologists in BCCA. They checked on my chest pain (on the right side) as well as other complaints that I had in recent weeks. They immediately ordered one round of radiotherapy for me. Keep in mind that my appointment started only at 2:45pm and the whole process completed by 4:00pm. I considered this very efficient and again I was treated like VIP.

A new term I learned this time is "superficial". Radiation therapy aims to maximize the number of cancer cells destroyed, while minimizing the damage to nearby normal cells. As low energy x-rays do not penetrate very deep into the body and transmit most of their energy into the skin. These low energy x-rays are often called superficial or orthovoltage x-rays. In my case, using superficial rays can kill cancer cells inside my ribs (near the surface) and would not harm my organs underneath. I am sure you know what "superficial" means traditionally and generally. When I heard the radiologists said "we are going to use the superficial treatment on you", I asked "Superficial?" He replied positively and affirmatively. (Hahahah!)

Now 4 days after the superficial treatment, I am feeling better and stronger. Compare with the last radiotherapy (also my first) back on 18th March, 2010, rather than a square shape with a few crosses for aiming accuracy. This time, as you can see in picture below, is a 18 x 10 rectangular shape and a dotted line at the bottom. After setting the machine and the body at the proper position, the radiation process itself took ONLY 2 minutes and I was done for this time. Unlike last time, which I need to return every day for the week!

The whole treatment left me with an impression ... well ... quite superficial! But I certainly hope Mr Cancer - My Friend is being treated well this time. The chemotherapy will start next week and I will be using a different drug. Stay tuned and I will share with you more new terms that I learn in the process!

 

Thank You And Keep Smiling Please!

Despite my health situation, I still firmly believe that I am gifted and surrounded by wonderful people, friends and relatives. I am being cared for deeply and overwhelmed by the love and warmth exercised by all these wonderful people. Keep in mind that I have been lazy in writing this blogger for few months and as soon as I posted "My Friend (Cancer) Is Back!", my email inbox immediately filled with your positively energized messages. Some of them make me laugh (together it comes my chest pain) and some give me tears ... tears of happiness derived from your true love and care!

It was 8th December, 1980 when John Lennon's physical life ended. Like many other legends, he out-lived his physical life and continue to live on and influence people. Most of you know well that I am a retard in music, but this fact never stop me from listening to music that my ears enjoyed. Some of these songs, in additional to the music, the lyrics are so beautifully written. They are simply poems in their own right.

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one 

This picture was taken by Esther in front of the Apple store inside FashionShow, i.e. the big shopping mall in Las Vegas right opposite to Wynn Hotel, where we stayed.

My Friend (Cancer) Is Back!

Thank you to Joey (my brother) and his friends, who organized and invited Esther and I to join them for a 4 days trip to Las Vegas over last weekend. The weather was just perfect as it's not hot nor cold. It's purely coincident that on 5th December, 2010 (Sunday), starting 6:30am was the Las Vegas Marathon, and as we were staying in Wynn, and facing the Las Vegas Strip where the runners were running up and down, we had the best view of the 28,000 people running the marathon. It's really spectacular and makes you feel like running with them, or at least you can pretend to do so.

Then, on Monday 6th December, 2010, Esther and I went to see one of the 7 world natural wonders. Yes, you guessed right, the Grand Canyon. If you picked up any version of "100 places you must visit before you die", Grand Canyon is always in the list. Indeed, it's so so beautiful and immediately acquire the feeling of how small (and insignificant) we are.

Lately, two sides of my hip and my right chest are feeling some pain from time to time. Even though I am under pain management, the pain can be acute for the time and hit me hard. Like someone plunge a knife into you. Various tests and scans confirmed today that Cancer My Friend is now back, this time more on the liver and the chest bones. Like last time, I am going to treat my friend well. Of course, the result is not me to control, but you know what, the process I can at least choose to enjoy, rather than suffering from it. There are always two sides of a coin, and at least two sides of everything. We must learn, and re-learn, how to live peacefully with both sides of all things. No matter what cards we have in our hands, our job is to get the best out of them. If you look again, life is always good ... if you choose to see more the bright side of it and stay positively.

Many Thumbs Up! And Psalm 23.

One more thing happened on 28th November, 2010 (Sunday) was the production crew of Fountain of Love and Life did an interview with Esther and me. The shooting started at the Canadian Chinese Martyrs Church and then to a park nearby our house and finally at our home. The production crew, though all amateurs, are very professional and well equipped. I have never thought that my life can be so colorful. Even when I am sick and sometime walking painlessly is a challenge itself, I can still experience all these wonderful things in life, for example, "Be a movie star for the day!" or you can say "Be a shooting target for the day!" Hahahah! Either one is okay with me, no debate!

Inside the interview, I mentioned one of my favorite Psalm, i.e. Psalm 23 and please enjoy reading.

Psalm 23 - A psalm of David.

 ¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
 ² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
 ³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.
⁴ Even though I walk
   through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.
 ⁵ You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever.

28th November Is A Special Day!

Back in February this year, when the doctor said I had six to eight months to live, I didn't think too far from that point. Rather I focused on the "here and now" then at that time. Days and weeks come and go, then months come and go, and I treasure it as a big gift that now in November and almost December and I am still around. The "here and now" is certainly not the same of the then "here and now", but you know what, yesterday was the birthday of Esther. Another birthday that I can sing the song with my kids besides us, see her blowing the candle and eating the cake afterward. You have no idea how fortunate I find myself and such a luxury that I enjoyed.

What made yesterday more special was Olivia attended the Sunday Mass with us! And it's coincidental that it's also the first Sunday mass of Advent, and usually this date we use a new book of mass.

I will not give up hope, as it's actually the least we can do. It will not hurt and can only do you good. We do our part and not to worry about the result, as the traditional wisdom goes ... Try your best and leave the rest to God!

The First Snow in Vancouver!

Thursday (18/Nov) evening, I was outside in a meeting. When I was driving home, some wet snow was falling. We guys in Richmond usually get the last scene of snow and I was thinking there must be snow on the ground outside of Richmond. Then, the next morning (19/Nov), one can actually see in the news, it was not so bad, just a little cover in white, and I must admit it's beautiful!

Then, last evening (19/Nov), the wet snow came again and you can feel a little colder when walking outside. I slept early last night and when I woke up this morning (20/Nov), the ground was covered with 5 to 6 cm of snow. Now, to me or to guys in Richmond, it is the first snow this winter! (*Why "first" needs to be so special? Hahahah!)

At a distance, a group of children came out to the little slope in the park. The laughter and high peak sound proofs that they are enjoying their time. There is little traffic on the road inside our block, though you would still see people going out walking with their dogs and delivering of newspaper. All the houses, trees and lawns are covered in white, some of them start melting already. It is now a clear blue sky with white clouds. Reflected on the snow on the ground, it makes everything much brighter. The birds of the busy morning disappeared and I can almost hear my own breathe and heart beat sound. It's such a beautiful picture and life is so peaceful!

  

[This photo is taken by Mr William Yeung.]

Everyday is a gift!

The autumn in Vancouver (Canada) is beautiful! The color of the trees, randomly planted, are blended together and give spectacular color, from light green to dark green, from pale yellow to deep red, and imagine all the color tones in between. Then, when you look at it from a distance, all the colors kind of blur and expose together and form such a beautiful picture. Like they say, you only need an automatic camera and simply click anywhere you like and it would be a nice picture taken.

Some may complain it's raining outside, and some may not like the wind. But you know what, if you take the first step, wear sufficiently warm (a hat and gloves would be good ideas) and go out, almost instantly, you will feel the freshness of the air (I bet the oxygen level must be high) and after a few breath, you will not feel the cold any longer. Then, for the rain, unless it's raining like dripping, as soon as you walk outside, you would see the rain is actually much smaller than you think, it doesn't bother you at all. It fall on your outer-coat, wet a bit, and then it will dry fairly quickly. Sometimes the rain is more like mist, it stay on your coat and it disappears before you would notice them.

The feeling of my body's existence is a good one. I can feel the air through my lung movement, feel the temperature with my skin. Of course, my eyes see and my ears hear, but most important of all, I am in the good hands of Mother Nature, totally surrounded by the air, rain or sunshine. The beautiful trees, the flowers, the grasses, etc.

I am so happy and filled with joy! I am satisfied and what else do I need? Everyday of my existence is a gift! Thank you!